Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Catheter Pain"

Original Song Title:

"Lavender Haze"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"Catheter Pain"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Cut the Flowers" self-challenge. A little googling has let me know that there are many kinds of catheters, but let's be honest: there's only one type that immediately comes to mind when most people think of catheters, so let's put "focus" above "completion" and sing about sticking a tube in another tube, shall we?
Ah, why is it so tight?

Oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh, oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh
Oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

As you become older, it's true, oh, functionality, it drops
Though some may say the topic's rude, it's hard to give a toss
Still hard to get used to, see (yeah, oh, yeah-eah), puttin' that damn tube in me (yeah, oh, yeah-eah)
Just can't do it fluidly (yeah, oh, yeah-eah)

I feel the catheter pain creepin' up on me
Can't deal with crammin' that tube where nothin' should go, I say
Should heal but repetition of it's not a dream
It's so hard to take all this catheter pain
Oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh, oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

It's not a pleasant scene (far from a pleasant scene), hence why my bathroom trips take time
But also why you'll never see (never gonna ever see) me ask for a hand 'cause yikes
I still want privacy (yeah, oh, yeah-eah) and I don't think you'd like to see (yeah, oh, yeah-eah)
The way this fits inside of me (yeah, oh, yeah-eah), ooh-whoa-oh-oh-ooh

I feel the catheter pain creepin' up on me
Can't deal, each ram of the tube is a stab, shows on my face
Tight seal so there's no mess but I still wanna scream
It's so hard to take all this catheter pain
Oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh (this catheter pain), oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh

Ev'ry day, the same cycle (oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh), only gonna be final (oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh)
When I wake up dead (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh), then is when I'll rest (only then, can rest) (oh)
Better this than denial (oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh) that health's in a bad spiral (oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh)
I may whine and kvetch but I'm not that thick (ooh-whoa-oh-oh-ooh)

I feel (I feel) the catheter pain creepin' up on me
Can't deal, well, scratch that, I do 'cause I'm damned if I don't play (hey)
Might squeal (might squeal) or say some rude words but it's helpin' me
It's so hard to take (oh-oh-oh-ooh-ooh) all this catheter pain

Oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh, oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh (get that tube within)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (where it barely fits)
Oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh (damn catheter pain), oh-oh-ooh-whoa-oh (it's so hard to take)
It's so hard to take (oh, oh, oh, oh, oh) all this catheter pain

Howdy folks, I'm a professional cowboy and there's two things I know: I don't like pain when I cath and the fact that this song scraped through into the United State of Pop is a true testament to the enduring power of T-Swizzle.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 67

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   65
 65
 65
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/taylorswift14.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 250