PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD:
Iran's the very model of salaam Islamic tolerance
Just understand that we demand complete submissive foller-ance
Our rules are still, by Allah's will, made by our clerics' collar-ance
United States stands at Hell's gates of capit-al-ist dollar-ance

Our women dress, not to excess, quite unrevealing, modestly
Irani guy distracted by no lady's shameless bodice-ly
No Penthouse Pet shall ever whet their appetites so goddess-ly

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Penthouse Pet? Got it!

[resume singing]
Irani's rod, by law of God, shot not its lot so wad-essly

ALL IRANI OFFICIALS AND CLERICS:
You're free to choose, all: Christians, Jews, to worship as it pleases well
It's up to thee: Eternity, to spend where all one sees is Hell
To stay down there, for all we care, perhaps until it freezes (Hell)

PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD:
There's one small clause among our laws: A man must grow his beard so long
And as for gays: must change their ways; it's something that we've feared for long
You must obey or find one day, the Sword of Justice sheared your schlong
Iran is free for "he and she", but "he and he"? No queer'd belong!

ALL:
In short, in matters liberal, we glibberally fib-beral
Iran's the state of violent hate, from which, unending dribb-er-al

PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD:
We don't like drama of Obama any more than Dob-e-ya
No stripper's pole shall mar our soul nor tempt to watch disrobe-a-ya
We're morally upright, uptight; no lust incite, and so be ya
Iran's the very model of hard penile xenophobia

No "shock-jock" schlock; we Stern-ly block who mocks our mediocrities [1]
Like ancient Greeks: dissenter speaks; gets hemlock crock like Socrates [2]
We hex and vex ex-wedding sex; a girl protects and lock-a-knees

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Pure? Innocent? Got it!

[resume singing]
All garbed "no-show" from head to toe, our ladies do not c*ck-a-tease

ALL:
We never tire, we aspire: elevated shoes, to fill
Of Iran's hero, new "Ground Zero"-miss-ill-fated, Kim Jong-il [3]
By grace of God, Ahm'dinejad is higher-rated, kill-for-kill

PRESIDENT AHMADINEJAD:
Obsessed: the chest, the West: posssessed of breast-impressed hypocrisy
Our gowns conceal what's real; we "feel" no sil(ly)-i-con-ocracy
To sip real nip is "iceberg's" tip: advantage of autocracy
No pervs in Persia, just the clergy'a- -theme park of theocracy

ALL:
In short, in matters moral-ish, we're bore-alish and quarrel-ish
Not whor-alish; your porn, we scorn, both oral-ish and sore-all-tish!

THE SANE WORLD:
[slower]
So scared to think of world on brink, in hands of such delusionals
These quite contrary, dromedary's blood-and-mud transfusionals:
A cardiac arrest, at best; a coronar-o-cclusional [4]
For their confusion, my "solusion": profusion of contusion-als

To sign a treaty: no big feat; re- -nege and make a mockery [5 ...]
He falsifies and spills his lies; supplies surmise of crockery
Disburse, he: crimes; such nurs'ry rhymes of hick'ry, dick'ry, dockery

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Hick'ry, dick'ry, dockery? Tough rhyme to follow, no? ... Got it!

[resume singing, at original tempo]
Such sad conclusion: their illusion: fusion-ary schlockery

ALL THE WORLD:
At neutrons, protons, deutrons: pro cons tell of tales fantastical
Methinks, forsooth, their view of "truth": uncouth, "Is-real" elastical [6]
For fission, fishin'; wishin', vision: Jews, abuse quite drastical

THE VOICE OF SANITY:
It's quite unpleasant viewing peasant boys with toys atomical
"Hail Mary" scary: Moe and Larry; Curly: surely comical?
A wasteland vast, a race half-assed, but oil: economical
Iran: From span where man began, sh*t-canned by plan Islamical!

In short, in matters nuclear, these kooks are spooks quite puke-lear
Enrichment of uranium: On cranium, rebuke to clear! [... 5] [7]

[A Western reporter raises hand to President soloist, and asks]
Can you repeat that, with neither the sing-song accent nor the rant?

[President Ahmadinejad looks at the reporter, and says:]
مدفوع انسان وحيوان. (¡Mierda!) Western agitator, silly gay! [8]

[repeat 3rd verse, ("The sane world...")
at a speed even faster than the original tempo,
and without the pause or spoken part.]




[1] Howard Stern, the "shock-jock" radio disc jockey, known for going boldly where no decent person had ever gone before. (Assuming that throwing bologna at a nude stripper is in fact worthwhile entertainment, wouldn't it lose something by being on *radio*?)

[2] Socrates (c. 469-399 B.C.) was a social and moral critic of the government of Athens, for which he was condemned to death by drinking a cup (or "crock") of the poison, hemlock.

[3] Sort of a cross between "missile" and "ill-fated". Humble apologies.

[4] i. e., "heart attack"

[5] Repeated violations of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty under cover of "developing nuclear power plants" -- in the country with the world's second-largest reserves of both oil and natural gas -- yeah, right.

[6] No footnote needed here. You got the reference.

[7]] "Knock some sense into their heads."

[8] مدفوع انسان وحيوان. = Persian for "dung", I think.