Original Song Title:
Parody Song Title:
I resolve to spend less time at work on Facebook and YouTube
I resolve to not become obsessed with Katy Perry's boobs
I resolve to leave my balls alone when out on public streets
I resolve to (possibly) once ev'ry month change my bedsheets!
I resolve to not buy any Coldplay CDs on a whim
I resolve to tell my boss exactly what I think of him!
I resolve to give up porn (at least the stuff that makes me squirm)
I resolve to exercise until my butt is nice and firm
I resolve to not eat microwave burritos for a snack
I resolve to run when my true love offers to wax my back!
I resolve to concentrate when my wife talks about her day
I resolve to never put her shoe collection on eBay
I resolve to not lock myself out of my house when I'm drunk
I resolve to not convince myself that all my pants have "shrunk"
I resolve to not buy 50 cans of beans coz they're on sale
I resolve to not refer to making love as "gettin' tail"...
I resolve to join the mile-high club on transatlantic flight
I resolve to not attend another karaoke night
I resolve to keep my lunch down when on rollercoaster rides
I resolve to not laugh when small children fall off playground slides
[INSTRUMENTAL while I think up some more]
I resolve to mow the lawn on Sundays when the sun is out
I resolve to figure out what Donnie Darko's all about
I resolve to not be smug when cheating at Monopoly
I resolve to not give one damn cent to Scientology!
I resolve to not resort to Rogaine if I lose my hair
I resolve to fly to Vegas; try to get on stage with Cher
I resolve to get a job that doesn't make me want to weep
I resolve to sleep with Beyonce, and not get any sleep!
I resolve to not take up two spaces when I park my Ford
I resolve to not chase Mormons round the block when I get bored
And because I'm so darn honest, this will be my final word:
I resolve to break all promises by January Third!!
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|How Funny: ||5.0|
|Overall Rating: ||5.0|
|Total Votes: ||13|
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