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Song Parodies -> "The Grade Curve"

Original Song Title:

"The Great Curve"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Talking Heads

Parody Song Title:

"The Grade Curve"

Parody Written by:

Cat

The Lyrics

This is a song about the wickedly hard chemistry tests my teacher gives. Fortunately, she does curve all her tests, though not always to our advantage. The idea came to me during school (of course) but it took me a while since this is a bit of a tricky song to parody. Finally, I must say I owe a great debt to Starlette Victory for this one, since she has mastered the art of school-related parodies.
Sometimes the class is completely clueless
We never feel like we've got it made
Elusive A's are out of our reach
Our only hope is...that she curves the grade

Chem tests will obliterate our brains
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)
How do you calculate frequency?
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)
Yikes...a question on specific heat!
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)
Is my mind still even functioning?
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)

The teach has her ways of looking at students
Instilling fear deep into our souls
She glares at me, and all the kids in the class
If someone yawns, then the heads will roll

Grading scale considered inhuman
(Decline, to decline, grade is starting to decline, so say so, so say so)
Orbitals and valence electrons
(Decline, to decline, grade is starting to decline, so say so, so say so)
Multiple choice is impossible
(Decline, to decline, grade is starting to decline, so say so, so say so)
When you have no clue what's going on
(Decline, to decline, grade is starting to decline, so say so, so say so)

The grade moves on the teacher's pen
The grade moves and it rises and falls
The grade moves again and again
Kids scream as they run down the halls

The failing fright...it's gonna blow our minds out
The failing fright...it's gonna blow our minds out
We're gonna pass, or fail, or pass, or fail, or pass, or fail, or pass, or fail?!?
The failing fright...it's gonna blow our minds out

And as we walk to the teacher's desk
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)
Tension approaches a record high
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)
Did I get number eleven right?
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)
I can only hope the grade is curved
(Grade will fall now...lower, lower.)

Decline, to decline, grade is starting to decline, so say so
Grade will fall now...lower, lower
She has got to curve the grade...to curve the grade...to curve the grade
The failing fright...it's gonna blow our minds out
The failing fright...it's gonna blow our minds out
We're gonna pass, or fail, or pass, or fail, or pass, or fail, or pass, or fail?!?
The failing fright...it's gonna blow our minds out
Gonna decline...so say so, so say so
Decline and decline, it is going to decline, so say so, so say so
Grade will fall now...lower, lower
She has got to curve the grade...to curve the grade...to curve the grade

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   2
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 3
 1
 
 5   8
 6
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Jenkins - February 13, 2006 - Report this comment
In a lot of classes, you can fake your way through. But, if you don't completely understand Chemistry, you are in big trouble. I hope you do as well on your Chem tests as you did on this parody.
Matthias - September 19, 2006 - Report this comment
Not one of your best Cat, but it's still pretty good, and I've been down that road many a' times in High School
Agrimorfee - September 20, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3) I'm not going to be able to listen to the song, but that is not going to affect my judgment. It looks like it was somewhat difficult to do (as you are so unafraid to tackle difficult songs!), and I felt the tension that the singer did as the song progressed, leading up to a quite funny and logical climax. This was pretty good, taking all that into consideration.
Michael McVey - September 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Anhydrous ammonium nitrate and calcium hydroxide with carboxyl radicals sharing covalent bonds, a bit high on the electronegativity with isotopes of 234 and 238, a valence of +1 and an atomic mass of 555 (5 electrons in the g shell). Another explosively reactive metalloid compound by the resident felis catus!--MM
tomario - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
looks like you worked hard on your song of the month so i'll give you an a (555)
Rick C - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC-3) The mp3 wasn't available at the link provided, Cat. I DKTOS but, I know your pacing is always excellent and so was your writing here so, 555. :-)
Red Ant - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-G) I loved chemistry. I've forgotten quite a bit of it, but I do remember that putting a whole spool of Mg ribbon in a crucible and heating was not a good idea. Anyway, nice write on a tough song.
Johnny D - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Taking On Talking Heads! YEAH! Good job, Cat.
Stuart McArthur - September 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(abc3-g) I'm guessing that you wanted to parody the song first and came up with the idea second - nice work at honouring the idea, Cat, but it would have been hard to do, and I like your other stuff much more - 555
Kristof Robertson - September 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Its been a looooong time since I've had to think about grades. Still 555 worthy, but not one of your very best, Cat.

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