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Song Parodies -> "Something To Put James Blunt In"

Original Song Title:

"Wanna Be Startin' Something"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Something To Put James Blunt In"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

While this may come across as an infantile rant borne of bitterness and jealosy...by heck it was fun!
There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
In a shipping container? (yeah, yeah)
Plane to Albania? (yeah, yeah)
A cave with a grizzly? (bear, bear)
That'd keep him busy (yeah, yeah)
In a ring with contenders? (yeah, yeah)
Jail cell with offenders? (yeah, yeah)
A refrigerator? (yeah, yeah)
Or lake with gators (yeah, yeah)

What to do with this posh ex-soldier?
He can't release another CD!
We could tie him to a tree
And spray him with graffiti!
Blunt is oh so whinyI'd kick him in the hiney
Dopey, dreary, pine-y
Prayin': someone's gotta be doing something

There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
In a rocket to Neptune (yeah, yeah)
He'll sing his inept tune (yeah, yeah)
Lock him in a shed, man (yeah, yeah)
Send him Back To Bedlam (yeah, yeah)
In a cage with gorilla (yeah, yeah)
Or mouth of Godzilla (yeah, yeah)
Guitar he'll be twangin' (yeah, yeah)
Over shark pit, hangin' (yeah, yeah)

The nerd has gone international
It's making me quite irrational
Together, repeat verbatim
"I hate hate hate hate hate 'im!"
Blunt sends me bananasI'd feed him to piranhas
Make him sleep with llamas
It may restore my karma

There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
He won't be so dang earnest (yeah, yeah)
When trapped in a furnace (hehheh)
Acoustics are not fine (yeah, yeah)
When down in a coalmine (yeah, yeah)
In a cellar or attic (yeah, yeah)
I would be ecstatic (yeah, yeah)
It's undemocratic? (yeah, yeah)
Hey, I'm just pragmatic (yeah, yeah)

[The Blunt enters with guitar]
You're so beautiful (you're beautiful)
Subway angel (you're beautiful)
My life is brilliant (I'm beautiful)
So lets get naked (we're beautiful)

And he's dating Miss Nemcova
How the hell'd he win her over?
With the rich he's rubbing shoulders
Wish he'd walk under loose boulders
Blunt is oh so whinyI'd kick him in the hiney
Dopey, dreary, pine-y
Prayin': someone's gotta be doing something

There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
Where's the best place for that man? (Where? Where?)
An igloo in Lapland (yeah, yeah)
Saharan oasis (yeah, yeah)
For a real long stay, sis (yeah, yeah)
We could put him in a tank (yeah, yeah)
Send him to the West Bank (yeah, yeah)
A rodeo clown suit (yeah, yeah)
Tangled-up parachute (yeah, yeah)

[The Blunt re-enters with guitar]
You're so beautiful (you're beautiful)
Russian model (she's beautiful)
My life is brilliant (I'm beautiful)
So bite me, losers! (you're all pitiful)

More annoying than Bono (yeah, yeah)
A male Yoko Ono (yeah, yeah)
Wish he'd get thrown-o (yeah, yeah)
By a raging cyclone-o (yeah, yeah)
No one could be drear-yaPack him off to Siber-ya
Ten years in Niger-ya?
I'd feel a whole lot cheer-ya

There must be something to put James Blunt in
Find something to put James Blunt in
We're needin' something to put James Blunt in
Anything to put James Blunt in!
The Ukrainian Army? (fair, fair)
A cupboard with Barney (yeah, yeah)
Strap him in a Humvee (yeah, yeah)
As a crash test dummy (scare, scare)
In a sauna with hobos (bare, bare)
A movie with J-Lo (yeah, yeah)
A white robe in Compton? (yeah, yeah)
That'd sure be somethin'(yeah, yeah)

Lift your head up high (c'mon!)
And scream out to the world
"I HATE IT THAT BLUNT SINGS LIKE
A PRE-PUBESCENT GIRL!"
Like Terminator Arn
He'll never, EVER stop
Let's put him somewhere safe
To save the world of pop

In a safe, in a car Antarctica!
In a safe, in a car Antarctica!
[repeat until it actually happens]

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The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 0
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   22
 23
 21
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
You surely Blazed Blunt in this one! Almost as badly burned as mine...
Matthias - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
You surely Blazed Blunt in this one! Almost as badly burned as mine...
Matthias - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
You surely Blazed Blunt in this one! Almost as badly burned as mine...
Jeff Reuben - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
He gained a little respectability by letting Al parody his song (even if he record company balked), but the original is still awful. Fun song!
Cat - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh my god. This was just brilliant. I especially liked the "in a cupboard with Barney" line. Although I have a definite disdain for Russian models (if you catch my drift...) I must say even ol' Blunty doesn't deserve her.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Voids need to be filled, and I hear that the Guantanamo Prison Camp is to be emptied soon...
Matthias - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Uhm... Yeah, I don't know why it made me comment 3 times, but... uhm.... here's the shameless plug... http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/jamesblunt38.shtml
Rick C - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
I'd put my favorite lines here in the comments but, I'd just have to copy and paste the entire parody. Highest of Fives.
JP - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Best parody I've read today. Many brilliant lines and laugh out loud funny. 5's.
alvin rhodes - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
too funny...to everyone but JB i suppose
Johnny D - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
555 ... Put him in The Philadelphia Phillies -- Major League Baseball would get a Major League Buzz from a Phillies Blunt!
AFW - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Lots of great ways to get rid of him, here, Kristof...and sort of like Johnny D's suggestion, maybe we could smoke him...
Red Ant - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, great rant, err, parody, Kristof! My first thought was "launch him into the sun", so I'm glad to have seen you were thinking along the same lines. The Blunt section was inspired too. 5s.
Michael Pacholek - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
This song is brilliant. The thoughts are pure. They're all good ideas. And that's for sure! Johnny: Haven't Philadelphia sports fans suffered enough?
Kristof Robertson - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Matthias: thankyou, thankyou, and...um...thankyou!

Jeff: The Blunt has NO respectability: thanks, mate.

Cat: Yeah, I HATE gorgeous, rich Russian models too! *sigh*. Cheers for the kind words

Pete: You frikkin' GENIUS! No trial required...;-)

Matthias: ALL plugs are shameless; I'll check it out, dude

Rick: And the highest of thanks back atcha, mate

JP: You're too kind. Don't stop! Cheers....

alvin: The only thing The Blunt finds funny is that people actually buy his AOR crapola. As always, cheers friend

JD: hehehe...did you know also that Blunt rhymes with c[YIKES]. Bless you!

AFW: smoking The Blunt would lead to lethargy, dullness, a ridiculous voice and the face of a ferret. But whatever floats your boat. ;-)

Red Ant: more ways to get rid of this fool? suggestions on the back of a postcard. :-)

Michael: i've been to Philly, and I liked it; I wouldn't wish a pair of The Blunt's udorous socks on the place. Cheers
#RICH - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
DAAAM Dis Is Da Best Parody I Ever Read!!! Great Job Turnin A Bad Song Into A Great Parody. Maybe Sir Worthless Faggot Should Be Sent To Da Black Hole In Oakland!!!!!!
Lionel Mertens - July 24, 2006 - Report this comment
You reign supreme. 5's
Stuart McArthur - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
big, big effort, Kristof and your usual parade of priceless barbs - "whiny" really does sum him up - they should just put him in that movie with J-Lo and be done with it - 555 - and I'm getting pretty sick of that "oasis/long-stay-sis" couplet - lol
Kristof Robertson - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
#RICH....um, thanks...you're right, it is a BAD song. As for The Blunt being a faggot; not sure about that one...I mean, have you seen Nemcova? :-) Peace, friend.

Lionel: Aww, bless you my son!

Stu: Yeah, I ought to change the record, right? Come to think of it, J-Lo has featured in quite a few of my parodies....serve her right for turning me down. ;-) Cheers, mate.
Phil Alexander - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Perfect, K... source, sentiment and execution :-)
MarthaDTox - July 25, 2006 - Report this comment
What can I add this is simply stunning!!!!
Kristof Robertson - July 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks Phil and Martha
Chris Bodily TM - August 06, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) It's pitiful, it's pitiful, it's pitiful... Yet it's still funny! As a Blunthead, you can't help but be offended by an anti-Blunt parody, I guess. But you had some great lyrics, and I loved the "You're Beautiful" part. I loved your methods of getting rid of James Blunt, and that "Pre-Pubescent Girl" line is classic. So I guess my vote is 551.
paula miconas silos miconas - August 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) finally someone expressing their feelings about JB in a good parody!! i love it, evn tho i kinda liked a few of his songs, blunt isnt my favest singer!! its brilliant, and very very creative.
The Charnstar - August 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) WHOOO! I agree with Paula, all 5's
Michael McVey - August 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I have to admit, this one is both funny and creative. -- MM
Rick C - August 13, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above. Still need to cut and paste the whole thing. :-)
Cat - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh maaaan. Still love this so much.
Matthias - August 14, 2006 - Report this comment
See above (x4)
Agrimorfee - August 15, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hehehe HEE! Mama say, mama sa, mama coo say 555.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - August 16, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - See above.
Max Power - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-See above
bobpiecheese - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) You don't need to know the OS to appreciate this parody...just the song it's referring to...damn, I hate that song...but this one is AWESOME! Way to go, Kristof!
Red Ant - August 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTm) See above! Some darned fine rhyming pairs too, not the least of were "Neptune/inept tune" and "earnest/furnace".
Johnny D - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) To put it Bluntly -- see above!
Stuart McArthur - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I forgot to mention last time how I loved the "grizzly (bear bear)" line - wow, that's a long OS though - I had no idea - you must've been up late racking your brain for ideas for this one - although "Blunt Rage" is one of the more fearfully energising of recent world phenomena
wannabemustangjockey - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) In a cupboard with Barney? That truly would be torture...
Scathe - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I have no idea who James Blunt is, and I get the impresion that I don't want to know.
Arwen - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM...I think you struck a chord with a LOT of dissatisfied Blunt hearers. (I am reluctant to call any of us Blunt listeners...because it's doubtful that we'd put for the effort to listen to his "music.) Fabulous job, KR!
Jeff Reuben - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Still well done, and see above!
Chiara - September 24, 2006 - Report this comment
ahaha nice!
Ana - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I'm not a James Blunt fan but I did like the song 'You're Beautiful.' But the parody is hilarious and I give it 555.

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