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Song Parodies -> "If I Could Learn To Rhyme"

Original Song Title:

"If I Could Turn Back Time"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Cher

Parody Song Title:

"If I Could Learn To Rhyme"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

I realise this song actually does rhyme.......
If I could learn to rhyme
If I could find a way
All my songs would be much better
Hey hey hey

I don't know why I wrote the things I wrote
I come across like a dyslexic goat
I've got no fans and not one word of thanks
Words are like weapons, and I'm firing blanks
I didn't mean to write this rubbish
It's all extraordinarily bad
I know I made you groan, not clever

If I could learn to rhyme
If I could find a way
All my songs would be much better
Hey hey hey
If I kood lurn to spel
I'd write good songs for you
Doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-bee doo-be doo

I keep on trying but I really suck
I'm getting random- big red 18 wheeler truck
When you gave me "ones" I swore that I didn't care
But I lost everything, darling......grizzly bear

Too dumb to not use words like "penguin"
Too proud to give the whole thing up
I want to be Bob Dylan, big problem

If I could learn to rhyme
You'd send some fives my way
But I just rhyme "heart" with "fart" every day
If I could get some skills
Then I could be a star
Waffle waffle tutti frutti la-di-da

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Royce Miller - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I like the way you mentioned different animals
MrMacphisto - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm glad someone finally pointed out how much Cher sucks...
Kristof - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
But Mac, I love Cher! (sniggers into hand...)
Michael Pacholek - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
All the girl singers are trying to be Madonna, but Madonna is still trying to be Cher -- and Cher's 12 years older, looks better, and can actually act. If you could learn to rhyme... you'd be one up on the Emerald-Veined Pooches. But since you HAVE learned to rhyme, here are some words that (sort of, in some cases) rhyme with "Fitzgerald": feral, G/Jerald, herald, Merrill, peril(ed), quarrel(ed), Terrell. There's your opening. Don't wreck it!
Jeff Reuben - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm glad you could Cher this one with us too!
Jacko Tobacco - April 29, 2004 - Report this comment
The Cher is not my son.
Melhi - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Love the "lurn to spel" and "getting random" lines! Funny stuff, Kristof!
Paul Robinson - April 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof - clever job here.
Serafina - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't really care for Cher myself; but this was a really great parody. I vote 5-5-5.
The Thought Police - May 03, 2004 - Report this comment
There's a lot to be said for a lady who is as old as Chief Powhatan but still looks as good as Pocahontas (well,almost,in both cases!)
Arwen - June 02, 2004 - Report this comment
For some reason...and really, don't ask me why...random mention of goats ALWAYS makes me laugh...really hard. Again...I don't know why...so don't bother asking...but, needless to say...the dyslexic goat line won me over! SOO GREAT! 555!
Kari - November 21, 2006 - Report this comment
I loved it ! Cher, you did awesome! :) divinekarikreations@yahoo.com

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