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Song Parodies -> "Golf People"

Original Song Title:

"Short People"

Original Performer:

Randy Newman

Parody Song Title:

"Golf People"

Parody Written by:

Royce Miller

The Lyrics

Golf people got no reason
Golf people got no reason
Golf people got no reason
To work

They make little balls
Go in little holes
They walk around
With little poles
They got little carts that go
Beep beep beep
They wear special shoes
On their sporty little feet
Well, I don't want no golf people round here

Golf people are not the same
As you and I
(A fool such as I)
Takes lotsa money
For green fees to buy
(It's a rich man's world)

Golf people got no room to
Golf people got no room to
Golf people got no room to

They just loaf around
On sunny days
Their caddies pick up balls
And watch em play
They got little caps
With little visors
To keep the sun out
Of their little eyes-ors
Their little grubby balls
Go flyin through the air
They fall in the water
And they don't care

Well I don't want no golf people
Don't want no golf people
Don't want no golf people
Round here

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   6
 5   11

User Comments

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Claude Prez - May 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Very well done, Royce--that first verse was perfect. I also liked "eyes-ors".
John Jenkins - May 01, 2003 - Report this comment
I am a golfer, but I found your parody amusing ... because I think it applies to other golfers, not to me?
Royce Miller - May 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments, Claude and John. And John, yes, you are the only golfer that I was not aiming this song at!
Jonathan C. - May 01, 2003 - Report this comment
Royce, you hit the ball right on the tee. Die all golfers!!! (J/K;))
Meriadoc - May 01, 2003 - Report this comment
This is fabulous! I have to send the URL for this one to my golf-happy brother!
Jeff Reuben - May 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Yes, I'm a golfer too, but a bad one, and I have much more interesting rounds then those guys on TV (hitting off rocks, out of the woods, bear caves, snake holes, etc).
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - May 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Mike and I are both golfers... he being a good one, me being a not so good one. But I liked it. Plus Royce, we share a name. Royce is my middle name.. so i can't rate it poorly =)
Billy Florio - May 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Great Job as always Royce......I used to golf a little...but I kinda sucked at it...If my golf score and my bowling score got switched, I'd be a pro in each!
Michael Pacholek - May 02, 2003 - Report this comment
"The reason the game is called 'golf' is because all the other four-letter words have been taken." -- Leslie Nielsen. "Hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in sports. My golfing friend Sam Snead has tried to convince me that hitting a golf ball is harder, but you'd have an easier time convincing Norman Schwarzkopf that the Bolshoi Ballet is a tougher outfit than the U.S. Marines." -- Ted Williams. "Golf is a 19th Century pastoral game. Basketball is a 21st Century phantasmagorical phenomenon. Basketball is a game where cool guys wear stupid shorts. Golf is a game where uncool guys wear stupid long pants." -- me channeling George Carlin. After all, when the Mets or Maple Leafs choke, we say they're "off playing golf," but when Greg Norman chokes, nobody ever says he's "off playing baseball" or "off playing hockey." Anybody who writes for a sports publication and includes an article about golf ought to be locked up in a basement, tied up, and forced to watch a video of Georgie Bush reading the collected poems of Barry Manilow.
FussBudget - May 03, 2003 - Report this comment
Great stuff ! Thanks Royce (from a golfer) who hated the original song !
AMIRIGHT AWARDS NOMINEE - November 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Best Sports/Games Parody

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