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Song Parodies -> "Ken (A Doll's Tale)"

Original Song Title:

"Ben"

Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Ken (A Doll's Tale)"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Ken: cool dude, snappy dresser, but.....
Ken, why is it you don't have a shlong?
Seems that your creators got it wrong
Though you wear the nicest clothes
A life without a hose
Is full of misery
It's sad that you can't pee
(It's sad that you can't pee)

Ken, you're wondrin' where does Barbie go?
She's been gettin' down with GI Joe!
She says that you're really sweet
But 'cause you are sans meat
And don't wear combat gear
You're out on your fake rear
(You're out on your fake rear)

You used to be..."fab" and "cool"
What you need...is a tool
(You used to be..."fab" and "cool")
(What you need...is a tool)

Ken, it's time to go back to Mattel
Ask them if they can give you some "swell"
Maybe a piercing or two
A chinese script tattoo
I'm sure they'll think again
And they'll fill your Calvins, Ken
(Poor Ken)
Poor Ken
(Poor Ken)
Poor Ken

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 23

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   23
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User Comments

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Arwen - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Public Flogging may ensue...but I don't know the song, babe...sorry!
Robert J. Pagliaro - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I liked this one.
Kristof Robertson - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Robert...thanks; this is my first parody in weeks and I'm a bit rusty. Arwen...how can you NOT know this? It's MJ's ultimate weepy (written about his pet rat, I think)..recorded before he grew up, became white and weird. Get thee to a record store!! :-)
Arwen - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Hmph.
Ashkicksass - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't know it either. So Hmph from me too!
Claude Prez - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I know it. This is great.
alvin rhodes - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
great parody...literally laughed out loud...5s
Ravyn Rant - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Kristof, this is wonderful! I laughed so hard my boss came over and asked, "Oh, are you on your parody site again?"
Meriadoc - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
This was great! We just finished a parody of "Ben" ourselves, but we are holding it until we can have a recording of it ready... (it's not about Ken, tho'...)
Ashkicksass - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I added a comment right after my other one that said "oh, but it's hilarious." I'm not sure why it didn't post, but here it is again!
Cookie-man - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I am laughing so hard that tears are still rolling down my cheeks (the ones on my face!) Great work! :) 555
K1chyd - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Ashkicksass: Thereīs a five minute waiting period before you can get your Texan Chainsaw Machinegun... I mean second message to the same parody on itīs way. Chucky had to install a message flooding control device because of little spindlers and other bites.
John Barry - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
A tune about a homunculus with no schlong set to an original by a homunculus with no schlong. Inspired!
Johnny D - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm Johnny D, and I approve this parody.
Kristof Robertson - August 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Many thanks to Claude, Alvin, Ravyn,Merry,Cookie,K1chyd,John and Johnny. And thanks to Ash and Arwen who, even though they DNKTOS, dropped by anyway..
M-Dawg - August 07, 2004 - Report this comment
good job kristof 555
I wish I was Bob Geldof - August 28, 2004 - Report this comment
I nearly had my dick chopped off by my Ex-wife. But anyway, I must say it's sad that Ken doesn't have a shlong!!!!
Leo Jay - July 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very funny Kristof!
Agrimorfee - August 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05) Only can a song to a rat be changed to a song about a doll that's even more funny than the original! 555
Scathe - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC-K) I can't think of a single clever comment.
Johnny D - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC) What Johnny D said.
Dee Range - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC. The only MJ song I know is Beat It...but this is funny as hell. The "sans meat" line cracked me up :-))
Stuart McArthur - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(K) This was before my time, Kristof, so it's like I've hit a priceless relic in an archeological dig - hilarious and witty and everything KR - "But 'cause you are sans meat - And don't wear combat gear - You're out on your fake rear" - LMAO - 555
Jeff Reuben - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
ABC: DKTOS either...but poor Ken. He got hosed.
Red Ant - August 13, 2005 - Report this comment
(ABC05)- Stu picked out my faves as well. I heard there was a tattoed Barbie that was pulled quickly (or perhaps never released). Of course if Ken was anatomically correct Barbie would require the same treatment. 555
Armstrong - August 15, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS but gettin down with gi joe! HAHAHAHA
Ana - February 17, 2006 - Report this comment
(Rolls over floor, in hysterical laughter) That parody was so damn cute!

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