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Song Parodies -> "Don't Fear The Reefer"

Original Song Title:

"(Don't Fear) The Reaper"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Blue Oyster Cult

Parody Song Title:

"Don't Fear The Reefer"

Parody Written by:

Chris Caillouet

The Lyrics

The play on TOS’s title is as old as the tune itself, and it wasn’t difficult to sniff out Malcolm Higgins’ classic paean o’ pot by the same name. This iteration is a celebration of the migration by many US states towards greener pastures, and a call for more of the same at both state and federal levels. The shift away from white-and-black thinking as the foundation for our attitudes on the decriminalization and legalization of cannabis, in favor of a more nuanced palette of information and ideals to color them, speaks highly of us Americans and ups the potential for purposeful and productive reallocation of sundry US resources still shackled with the specter of The War On Drugs.

(All links should open in a new window)
Ah, high times have come
Soon for everyone

Cali’ don’t fear the reefer
They know it helps with tension and pain
(We can be like they are)

Hey Missouri
(Don’t fear the reefer)
Utah take a stand
(Don’t fear the reefer)
Alabama should try
(Don’t fear the reefer)
Texas, what’s your plan?

La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la

Weed in Washington
Runs on sticky buns
Colorado’s feet are wet
A residual economy
(We can make it NORML* yet)

40,000 more voters every day
(Yeah, we can make it NORML yet)
Opening their minds up in every way
(Minding their businesses)
They know prohibition is so yesterday
(We can be like they are)

Come on Congress
(Don’t fear the reefer)
D.C. take a stand
(Don’t fear the reefer)
You should give it a try
(Don’t fear the reefer)
White House, what’s your plan?

La, la la, la la
La, la la, la la

[dramatic guitar interlude – just sit back and take some, uh, deep breaths]

No synthetic drugs
Brewed by greedy thugs

Visions of “Reefer Madness”
Led to laws those thugs dance around
See the chemical structures were modified
To make something legal that satisfied
Some rot not pot, only “potified”
(Saying, “It’s not the same”)

Hey Obama
(Make them disappear)
Legalize the ganj’
(Noxious knockoffs will die)
We’ll look backward and wonder why
(We’ve overcome our fear)
This sweet leaf had been banned
(We took it off Schedule I)

“Need more cowbell”
(Remember Walken?**)
* National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws
** I couldn’t resist – my DFTR tribute felt somehow incomplete without an allusion to SNL’s “More Cowbell” sketch

Copyright © 2015 by Chris Caillouet. All rights reserved.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.8
How Funny: 2.2
Overall Rating: 2.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   0
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User Comments

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Patrick - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
One of the Kansas City news channels has been running a series on legal pot in Colorado. I don't like the idea of the Drug War, with its corruption of law enforcement and the loss of freedom. Still, it can't be a good thing to have a large percentage of the population in a perpetual stupor. The marijuana candy and cookie products are a real scary thing, too. Just the sort of thing some a-hole prankster would slip into a trick or treater's bag or put on a tray at the office party. But, that's why we have a federal system, so different states can make their own decisions and learn from the results.
Chris Caillouet - February 02, 2015 - Report this comment
Equating marijuana legalization with having "a large percentage of the population in a perpetual stupor" seems to me hyperbolic and maybe a tad alarmist, but unfortunately for me that sort of attitude may still be pretty pervasive in our country. Why should anyone assume that people who consume marijuana would be any less responsible in legally using their drug of choice than those who drink alcohol are? I do somewhat agree with your point about the potential dangers of cannabinoid-infused confections, although the a-hole pranksters surely don't need weed to be legal in order go around tainting things if they are so inclined; it would just afford them another vector (my point being I don't think there is going to be a rash of new incidences of this sort of thing due to a relaxation of marijuana laws). Besides, who wants to waste their recreational budget on pranks? Stuff's expensive!!! I think the bigger danger would be small children getting into their parents' "adult" candies and chowing down, much as has been known to happen with those colorful little dishwasher detergent packs that are so easy for kids to pop into their mouths. In both cases and, again, as with America's favorite legal drug, alcohol, it is the parents' responsibility to prevent their children from accessing those products. We don't blame the bullet, do we, when the kid grabs the gun out of his mom's purse and shoots her dead in Wal-Mart?
Susanna Viljanen - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
I thought this was about cattle being driven to refigerator wagon, but I later found out "reefer" is another name for cannabis. So far nobody has killed himself or herself by overdosing on pot, and the biggest dangers are driving car or operating heavy machinery while stoned. That is not a reason to prohibit marijuana, but a reason to prohibit irresponsible and dangerous behaviour.

Cannabis should be legalized and treated like alcohol - taxed and sold under legislation.
Chris Caillouet - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Hi Susanna. Yes, "reefer" can mean either a marijuana cigarette or marijuana more generally. I can only imagine how this song must have read with the connotation you had in mind. You have expressed the salient points quite tidily, and it is so frustrating that the double standards persist in the US for cannabis and alcohol. Much of it is rooted in 1970s legislation that placed marijuana into a federally-defined category of controlled substances ("Schedule I") that have a "...high potential for abuse...", "...no currently accepted medical use...", and "...a lack of accepted safety for use of the drug..."; other drugs in the category include Heroin, LSD, MDMA, peyote, mescaline and psilocybin, and many more. Weed truly is not in proper company there, but apparently it is not simply a matter of popping it off the list. (P.S. How do you get the html breaks to stay in your comments? I have tried adding them but they get stripped out when I preview. Thanks!)
Me - February 03, 2015 - Report this comment
Breaks in comments:

Put BR in angle brackets for one line down
Put BR in 2 sets of angle brackets for two lines down
Chris Caillouet - February 04, 2015 - Report this comment
Hello, Me: thank you so much for the tip. I was doing that but the "br" was in lowercase and they were getting removed -- now I see this is a case where case matters!

Thanks agin! :-)

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