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Song Parodies -> "Vatican Shag!"

Original Song Title:

"Vatican Rag"

Original Performer:

Tom Lehrer

Parody Song Title:

"Vatican Shag!"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics


More Catholic priests in the news today...
Matching MIDI HERE.
Vatican Shag!
~

Holy vestments chaffing you?
Hustle to your lucky pew
Supplicate like good ol' Job
Then—
Doff the robe, doff the robe, 'scepter' probe!

Altar boys know Hot-Cross Bun Day
Comes before—or on—Palm Sundae
Lay service is scary
When your seminary's
Doin' the Vatican Shag!

Go ahead, ignore the Holy See
Rapture's worth a skosh o' heresy
Should your burning bush get finicky
Bible thump yer 'holy trinity'
If you've spilt wine, blood or urine
Swiffer with the Shroud of Turin
Jews score chicks; —fate
Deemed that priests must master bait!

Your position's not the safest
If the public learns you're Papist
Next assignment's parish back
In—
East Iraq, East Iraq, better pack!

When one's caught in their nave trystin'
Best stick to: "I'm Eucharistin' "
Then pray cops have bought' a
Hickey as 'stigmata'
—And overlook you're in drag!

How you gonna 'splain to dioceses
That your part 'arose'—'God's mysteries?'
'Cause at ten Hail Mar's per acolyte
You'll be on you knees a good fortnight
Take communion with Monsignor
Have him exorcise your wiener
Two for sex, ate? (x 3 on MIDI)
Time to glans-substantiate!

Virile Vicars, can't stop pornin'?
Tell the Pope you've turned Jack Mormon
Re-connect with all things flesh
Just—
Like Koresh, like Koresh—he's the best!

Better yet, Jeez, keep your pants on
Lest yer nicknamed 'Churchy Manson'
Stick to holly rollin'—
No more Harris polin'—
Don't go to bat again!
Keep yer robe flat—Amen!
Give up that Vatican Shag!

~

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Fiddlegirl - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Hilarious send-up of "shag"nanigans
Timmy1000 - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
This is kind of like Part 2 to John Barry's Monsignor song yesterday.
Old Man Ribber - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Master parodist and the Prince of Reviewers! Pax nabisco! ;DE
littleVicarLicker - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
" . . . Virile Vicars can't stop pumpin' . . . . " this is just insane, . . . .and so crazy, Sir!
AFW - July 17, 2009 - Report this comment
That's what I like, kinky and creative...Palm Sundae..lol
TJC - July 18, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks to FG (great pun!), T1K (he is inspirational, ain't he!), OMR (yer too kind, but think you have typed that comment whilst gazing in a looking glass!), LVL (thanks... I think... MUHAHAAAAA!!!), and AFW (appreciate it!)!
alvin - July 19, 2009 - Report this comment
funny concept...love the OS too
TJC - July 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks alvin...like you, I feel I'm in my Element with Lehrer!
Pope Pontiac the Sexth - July 23, 2009 - Report this comment
In the name of the Father, the Bun, and the Holy Roast... Nailed, TJ: this disgrace; blessedly astute is thy tune. Penance for your pen-ants: Fifteen Hail TJs!
TJC - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Popester, dude! Like thank you mucho, man! Much grass... much grass! Great punnin ('Holy Roast', ha!). PS: It's really cool you guys can ride Vespers to prayers!
Phil Alexander - July 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Holy f*** - this is fantastic (if kind of hard to sing at the original speed), but way too many good lines to mention. Please say you'll enter this one in the SOTM.
TJC - July 30, 2009 - Report this comment
Really appreciate that Phil... we're on the same wavelength re Lehr cake comestibles!

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