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Song Parodies -> "The Wurst That Could Happen"

Original Song Title:

"The Worst That Could Happen"

Original Performer:

The Brooklyn Bridge

Parody Song Title:

"The Wurst That Could Happen"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Allan Sherman, the Sultan of Salami as I like to call him, turned "Down By the Riverside" into "Don't Buy the Liverwurst." It's one of his best. Seeing William Tong's "The Worst That Could Happen (to Bush)" inspired me to write this one. The question is, does this make me a ham, or a turkey? I've certainly given you all lots of tongue. And not in a good way! This parody is dedicated to the king of Amiright food parodies, "wdh."
Girl...
I heard you own a deli.
Heard you own deli.
It's good, they say, they're sure.
And money I'll spend.
Your meat, it's really lean there.
The meat you sell, inspected well.
So safe, so clean, so good, so pure.
And, baby, if you're in gastronomy
maybe it's the best thing
maybe it's the best thing
for you.

But it's the wurst that could happen

to me.
The sandwich you carried
sandwich you carried
don't need it to be lean.
But a girl like you
with orders you're harried.
I've known all along that bread
needs meat and condiments between.
And, baby, if you're in gastronomy
maybe it's the best thing
maybe it's the best thing
for you.

But it's the wurst that could happen
ohhhh...
to me.

And girl
I don't really blame you
for having a store of your own.
And girl
I don't really blame you
a woman like you brings me cooking like home.

And, baby, if you're in gastronomy
maybe it's the best thing
maybe it's the best thing
for you.

But it's the wurst that could happen...

("come and get it" triangle ring replaces original's wedding-march trumpet)

Oh...
(Never, never, never, go on a diet!)
Go on, make the sandwich!
(Never, never, never, go on a diet!)
I ain't never gonna diet!
(Never, never, never, go on a diet!)
This is the wurst that could happen!
(Never, never, never, go on a diet!)
(repeat 'til fade)
Actually, I don't like liverwurst. The meat, I can resist; the title, not so much. Like Sherman said: "Oh, buy the corned beef if you must. The pickled herring, you can trust. And the lox puts you in orbit, A-OK. But that big hunk of liverwurst has been there since October 1st, and today is the 23rd of May!"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   3
 3
 3
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
meaty
John Barry - April 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Ich liebe "Wurst."
Larry Hensley - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but very yummy
Tommy Turtle - April 28, 2006 - Report this comment
I really like the OS*, and this well-paced sing-along had me LOL. A worthy, or wursty, disciple of St. Sherman. 555

*except, of course, for the horrible grammar glitch that changes the meaning to the exact opposite of what was intended; should have been "...if he loves you more than I". Actual OS lyric makes this other guy bi.

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