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Song Parodies -> "In The End: Broken Toyz Remix"

Original Song Title:

"In The End"

Original Performer:

Linkin Park

Parody Song Title:

"In The End: Broken Toyz Remix"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Kids today are so ungrateful....
(It starts with....)
Pleading: a constant whine
Already an extortionist, age of nine
Stores rob ya blind; you're resigned to buy
If you say no, he'll cry
(Don't say no...)
Why do I get him these things?
"Super Fly Guy" with detachable wings
Start the count down; by the end of the day
He'll have tossed it away
(Hey, what's the deal?)
Thought he'd like the LEGO
How could I know he'd make it explode?
Action Man's gone; to where I'll never know
Maybe interred next to GI Joe
Mister Tater Head got fried; even Optimus Prime
Transformed to spare parts
Ev'ry freakin' week! Figurines ain't cheap!
What an evil streak! "Boys are boys", so...

I spend too much on toys 'n' stuff
But in the end, my kid'll only trash 'em
A plastic sword, a new skateboard
But in the end, he'll just get bored and trash 'em

New thing, I had to buy
Expensive new light sabre for my "Jedi"
Just merchandise; not designed for fights
Soon the light went off and it fell apart
I said "You weren't using it properly"
Little twerp started behaving stroppily
Remember how we had fun with box and string?
"Watch me drive my string-box-car!"
Things aren't the way they were before
Cough up a hundred bucks and still your kiddie's sore
Cheaper to visit crack dens
Just between the bank and me...THIS MUST END!
Your credit limit's fried but he won't be denied
A new racer-kart
What it means to me: constant poverty
Little S.O.B wants a bike, so...

He'll huff and cuss, at Toys R Us
And in the end you give in just to hush 'em
Suggest Yahtzee; Monopoly
And little Ben will think you're speakin' Russian...

I've blown big bucks on you
"I'll play carefully", you joked
I was pleased...until your Tamagotchi croaked
Now Barney's black and blue;
Purple dinosaur, no mo'
Sonny, please...that ain't Dismember-Me Elmo!

I spent too much on toys 'n' stuff
They break and bend, no matter what you tell him
Right now I'm poor, but soon no more
Coz in the end, I'll cash in when I sell him...

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   17

User Comments

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AFW - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
True, funny, a little sad...and so very well said..
Matthias - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow... Brilliant. I don't think the rest of us stand a chance in Decathlon: Mark 2....
TJC - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Just Fantab-R-US, Kristof! Great concept and lexecution.. loved `stropily`/`properly` couplet and especially the brilliant `Dismember-Me-Elmo` get! Too Good and Too True about the Too Bad in kiddie konsumerism!
John Jenkins - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Very well done, Kristof. I like what TJC liked, plus the "Tater Head" line.
alvin - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
what a riot....the tamagotchi especially brought back some
Red Ant - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
Oh no, some noob did the 289th parody of "In The End".... wait, it's Kristof?! =) This was really good, K-man: excellent internal rhymes and rhymes in general. I loved the "Optimus Prime" transformed gag as well as "Dismember-Me Elmo". "They break and bend" - and, if made in China, are painted with lead paint, are molded from arsenic/asbestos composite and contain date rape drugs. 555
Kristof Robertson - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
AFW: I know, dude...I must be getting old. Cheers

Matty: I've already read some brilliant contenderd for this round: nothing's a sure thing, dude. Thanks anyway

TJC: Cheers! Inspired by some screamy little toe-rag in Debenhams (UK department store) on Saturday. The rhymes were a byatch, but the theme came quickly.

JJ: Grazie! I'd say I used "Tater Head" to avoid getting sued, but it was only coz "Potato Head" didn't fit...;-)

AL: aaaahhh...Tamagotchis. Rarely have I seen such a popular piece of junk. Cheers!

Jack RA: Thanks, metal is SO not my fave genre, and this didn't come at all easily, so the +ve feedback is most welcome
Jack Wilson - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
This was HILARIOUS!!!! 5s
stuart mcarthur - November 12, 2007 - Report this comment
excellent, KR, and wow, "Dismember-Me Elmo" was a godsend!- lol - I tell my kids that all I had to play with when I was a kid was a stick and a piece of string - and do they believe me? NO! - cynical buggers - 555
Kristof Robertson - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
Jack: Danke!

Stu: You had STRING??...and a STICK?? Lucky bass turd...I had to make do with belly button lint and stick-shaped bread crusts....;-)
Jonathan S. - November 13, 2007 - Report this comment
I don't want to sound like I'm kissing up, but, holy excrement, you're good. You have GOT to send this to the FUMP in time for Christmas, or else I'll tell Santa to leave YOU to deliver--make that, buy AND deliver all the kids' presents. Capiche? Anywho, 555+ (Security code: HHD: maybe that's for "Ho ho D'oh!")
Agrimorfee - November 15, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec) Not only was it funny, it was just constructed so well against all of the weird accents on the vocals, as if they wrote it themselves. This is Dr. Demento level material, dude.
Matthias - November 19, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec) Kristof you're far too impressive for your own good.
Below Average Dave ( - November 21, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec2) The original song is fantastic, I had heard only a couple Linkin Park songs before, so kudos of the bat for introducing me to a new awesome song. With only a few songs left to go, you have taken my top spot thus far, it goes beyond great as always, you chose one of the toughest songs of the genre you possibly could (borderline rap) and made it pace like it was nothing, I'd love to hear a performed version of this. . .I don't know if that's possible (I would imagine you'd be hard pressed to perform this one) . . .this one would be about as difficult to do as my Pool Boy Prophet from round 1, you should have no problem in this round.
bobpiecheese - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
(Dec 2.0) Damn you Kristof, you make this look easy! Obviously lovin' the Optimus Prime gag, but that's only as a bias because the whole thing TOTALLY ROCKED THE BALLS! That's a good thing, BTW...;)
Phil Alexander - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment

...not sure what else to say
stuart mcarthur - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
see above - to my embarrassment, I didn't know the OS, and your link didn't work, but I found it elsewhere on youtube, and it sure grows a leg when you read it to the OS, KR - and maybe "yahtzee" IS Russian??
Jeff Reuben - November 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Wow, this is really good to sing with the background track. Love the last line just a little more than the rest of the song. Awesome.
Arwen - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Decathlon...excellent as usual, KR...VERY funny, and almost painful, when I think of the wasted toys I've bought for my nephews. =) Nice work...and I love the OS, too!
Jack Wilson - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!
Mikey Squirrel - November 28, 2007 - Report this comment
DEC- Very well done, Kristof. Brings back a lot of fond memories of toys past that I wish I kept to sell on E-bay.

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