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Song Parodies -> "Not Guilty"

Original Song Title:

"A Milli"

Original Performer:

Lil Wayne

Parody Song Title:

"Not Guilty"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

It may seem like the easiest thing to plead "not guilty". Some people just can't help layering it with a suspiciously specific denial, though
What, confess?
Believe me
Weren't me
Yeah, don't go for this

Not guilty, I swear (yup), look at all of that evidence there
Like that so-called sweat on the stairs (whoo)
Doesn't prove that I was there, nor does the sheer amount of hair
Same length and colour hair as me, doesn't mean jack, jeez
Lots of guys who've died green their hair, keep that small factoid in your mind
This whole damn trial's shit, there's not enough time (ow)
To dissect ev'ry damn problem that I can see with the process
Fingerprints? They're all false ones, so just t-t-t-t-toss 'em
All those samples of blood and other liquids? They're worth nothin'
No-one leaves each one of 'em all in one place, that's just nonsense
Wasn't laughin' "Ha-ha-ha-ha" while I'm slashin' with my todger
If I did, then who knew? No cam'ras in that room, your honour
If there had been, they'dve caught 'im, whoever it was, it wasn't
Me? Drop it, this is bollocks, got shows I could be watchin' (whoo)
Wasn't me who did this
Yeah

You listenin' here? Not guilty, I swear
Zero proof that clinches, I dare you to prove that I was there
Witnesses? Now that ain't fair, I knew all lawyers were sleazy
But to claim folks had seen me makes me feel super uneasy
Make 'em leave, they can't talk, it's a big ol' friggin' problem
I'll bet they're all stooges paid to bullshit, just toss 'em (ow)
Nothin', nothin', they should all say nothin'
Cause that's all that there is: jack-all happened, stop it
They're all gonna talk shit, don't let 'em start lyin'
"It was him!" See? They're not tryin' to hide their fake cryin'
Yes, I said fake cryin', that ain't worth replyin'
What could I have done to justify their cryin'?
Haha, yeah, I'm just not buyin'
The concept of "when I saw him, I took my phone out", that's spyin' (whoo)
That's illegal, why weren't they nicked?
It's just like these kids to Twitgram any old shit
Wasn't me who did this, face it
I'll leave, okay? Cause I'm not it
This is all shit, you should drop it, they ain't caught shit, stop it
Wasn't me who did this
Yah, jeez (whoo)

Won't take your sacks of lies, insane load of crap
No way that I would in my whole life ever do that, true that
Dudes that make up all of these weird claims
Why'd I break in? Of course, they won't say that (ow)
Ev'rything's conjecture, like the concept that I swallowed
All the drugs, won't list all that I "devoured"
Empty bottles? Not mine, scour
My whole house, find no proof that I've been drug-empowered
Haha, that's where you found 'em? See this glower?
Doubt you had a warrant, great allower, ha
Oh, you did? On what charge? Your power's
Gone to your head, I'm sure it does not empower (whoo)
You to ransack homes of suspects for drug powder
If it does, not my fault, judge, you're lookin' sour
Why? I got rights to be speakin', know them devoutly
I won't say I'm sorry, I'll say you suck proudly
All this bollocks 'bout how cause he ate my brownie
Broke in naked to throw poop around, I'm doubtin'
It's true, get a clue, you made it all up, that's how it's soundin'
Shit, just cause I said that before the drug poundin', sue me
That's what you're doin'? No, I know that, I'm not stupid
Didn't do this, lawyer's useless, gonna sue 'im once we're through this, so foolish
Not me, please see, hahaha

No, I didn't transcribe the title line. It goes through the whole damn song and I'm trying to avoid aesthetically-unappealing lyrics these days. So if y'all could just imagine "Not guilty, not guilty, not guilty, not gui-not gui-" repeated ad infititum, that'd be greaaaaat.

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