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Song Parodies -> "Clean Your Hair"

Original Song Title:

"We Don't Care"

Original Performer:

Akon

Parody Song Title:

"Clean Your Hair"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Proper hair maintenance is an important part of not having your friends want to set you on fire. Pretty sure that's a saying. Should be.
Mop, mop, mop

Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (ey, ey)
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah

Man, that looks shockin' (dude, clean your hair)
Way that your hair is fallin' (please clean your hair)
Not dreadlocks that you're rockin', yeah-eah (dude, clean your hair)
Just gross clumps that need washin' (please clean your hair)
Oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
Dude, it's really nasty, needs a hard scrub or four
The grease is flowin', oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
You don't have a reason why you keep that eyesore
I beg you, clean your hair

Look, I'll set up an appointment on Friday
For the hairdresser lady, c'mon, I'll pay
Hair looks like Medusa (-dusa)
If the snakes were in comas (comas), oh-oh (-oh-oh)
I can't say that I think you're a stinker
Because it's objective fact, need a rinser, 'fraid so-o (so-o)
It's really gro-oss (gro-oss), oh-oh (oh-oh)
Sun reflects off the grease in my eyes, hurts (hurts)
At least all the germs tryna nest slip out, could be worse (worse) (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You've got a problem (ey), please don't make me take out my torch (torch)
A flamethrower is overkill, so I implore (-plore) (yeah)
That smell i-is potent (yeah, yeah, yeah-eah)

You need to crop it (dude, clean your hair)
Grow it out more? No, stop it (dude, clean your hair)
At least stop your headboppin', yeah-eah (dude, clean your hair)
Flyin' grease is gross, halt it (dude, clean your hair)
Oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
Wish I could go back in time to tell you before
You started growin', oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
I'm sure all that grease is a fi-ire hazard, dork
I beg you, clean your hair

If that mess got any longer
You'd find your head lodged in the wall, jerk, walkin' slo-ow (slo-ow)
Caught between your toe-oes (toe-oes), oh-oh (oh-oh)
Great as a cancer hair-wig donor
Have to clean it for ten ho-urs so the owner won't kno-ow (kno-ow)
Hair's from an absolute schmoe-oe (schmoe-oe), oh-oh-oh
Those locks could do so much good in this world (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
From helpin' young girls cope with leukaemia-a, jerk (jerk)
Or stuffin' pillows (ey), you may look silly when you're bald (bald) (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-eah)
But do you really need your hair to be that bloody long (long) (yeah)?
I can't see a bo-onu-us (yeah, yeah, yeah-eah)

Must you be hoggin' (bequeath your hair)
All the hairs on your noggin (bequeath your hair)?
Least ten tots could be rockin', yeah-eah (bequeath your hair)
Your hair, but you're obnoxious (bequeath your hair)
Oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
You're bein' a twat, no reason for you to hoard
All your follicles, oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
Needlessly stingy, don't be such a giant dork
And go bequeath your hair

Have you never wondered why you can't get a damn job, dude?
Kinda hard to serve customers with hair down to the floo-oor (floo-oor)
So long all round, you look like Cousin It's dog, dude
If you don't acquiesce to my requests, I'll get my swo-ord (swo-ord)

You've gotta wash it (please clean your hair)
Your excuses are bollocks (please clean your hair)
"You can't judge my life" stop it, yeah-eah (please clean your hair)
Can and will, your hair's noxious (please clean your hair)
Oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
At this point, what happens to it once it's cut off
I don't give two shits, oh-oh-oh, ey, oh
I'm sick of my pleas gettin' dismissed with one scoff
I beg you, clean your hair
Beseech you, clean your hair
Come on, man, clean your hair
You asshole, clean your hair

Now I can cross off "acquiesce" and "leukaemia" off the list of big words to use in a parody. That is, if I kept such a list.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - December 19, 2016 - Report this comment
I had this childhood friend who had some wicked hair like this. It was so messy and unkempt that we always kidded him about it. Pretty original topic which I really enjoyed. Well done.
Max Power - December 20, 2016 - Report this comment
I wonder if Pert Plus can help this poor soul. They still sell those right?
Rob Arndt - December 20, 2016 - Report this comment
It's advertised online for sale at Target & Walmart. Try Pert Plus 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner for $4 at Walmart and $6 at Target.

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