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Song Parodies -> "Egypt Loves Me (Hosni Mubarak)"

Original Song Title:

"Jesus Loves Me"

Original Performer:

Traditional / Anna Bartlett Warner

Parody Song Title:

"Egypt Loves Me (Hosni Mubarak)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Fun facts: OS was originally a poem by Anna Bartlett Warner that appeared in a religious novel by her sister, Susan Warner. which was published in 1860. The melody was added in 1862 by William Batchelder Bradbury, who also added the refrains. Because the refrains weren't in the original lyrics, they weren't going to be in ours, either, but we added *one* refrain as a nod to the composer, reflecting his share of contribution. ;)

In the novel, the poem is read to comfort a dying child. The verse referring to illness is usually omitted, so as not to disturb children. (TT: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" has the line, "If I die before I wake..." which seemed kinda sick and scary, but if his feeble pea-brain remembers correctly, it originated during the Black Plague that claimed between one quarter and one half of the population of Europe in about two years. So the possibility was strongly there.) Many churches and individuals have added verses to the original.

Egypt loves me! This I know
Even as tear gas, I throw
Been in power far too long?
Havoc: wreak; the protests strong

All Egypt loves me!
The Arabs love me!
The Mid-East loves me!
Obama sends me dough   [1]

Egypt loves me! See votes flow
Each election: my way, go   [2]
Pretense of de-moc-racy
Counting your votes all for me   [FL]

I got rich, old-fashioned way:
Bargaining to make war pay   [3]
My mistakes, my peeps forgive
Six tries: kill me; still, I live   [4]

One opposed me? Surely lied
Finds himself, soon, jail, inside   [5]
Long-declared emergen-cy
Disagree? Be detainee   [6]

Egypt loves me! I will stay!   [7]
'Spite what rest of world might say
Drown your protests in Red Sea
Life is so un-Phar-aoh, Gee!

[1] A shot at the POTUS' "tough" stance: "You'd better play nice with those protesters, or we just "might" consider reducing the billions of dollars of foreign aid our debt-ridden nation has given you"! ... That'll show 'em!

[2] Getting 80-90% of the vote in every "election" for the past thirty years. Unfortunately, with O hailing from ChicagO, criticizing the rigging of elections is like the pot calling the kettle black... uh, strike that. "People who live in glass houses.... "

[FL] "It isn't who votes that counts, it's who counts the votes." (attributed to Joseph Stalin)

[3] Egypt was a willing member of Coalition Forces in the 1991 Persian Gulf War, when Iraq was forced out ot Kuwait after invading it. The media published reports that sums as large as $500,000 per soldier were paid for Egypt's participation. After the war, Mubarak's reward was that America, the Arab states of the Persian Gulf, and Europe forgave Egypt of about $20 billion of debt.

[4] According to the BBC, Mubarak has survived six assassination attempts. Does that get him in the Guinness World Records? That's more than even ol' Adolf! ... and wethinks, perhaps a "hint" (cough)?

After the elections of September 2005, Dr. Ayman Nour, a dissident and a competing candidate, contested the election results and demanded a repeat of the election. In a move widely seen as political persecution, Nour was convicted of forgery and sentenced to five years at hard labor. On the day of Nour's guilty verdict and sentencing, the White House Press Secretary released the following denunciation:

"The United States is deeply troubled by the conviction today of Egyptian politician Ayman Nour by an Egyptian court. The conviction of Dr. Nour, the runner-up in Egypt's 2005 presidential elections, calls into question Egypt's commitment to democracy, freedom and the rule of law...." ... And yet, US citizens' tax dollars continued to flow to Egypt *under both administrations", previous and present.

Egypt is a "semi-presidential republic" that has been under Emergency Law since 1967, except for an 18-month break in the 1980s. Under the law, police powers are extended, constitutional rights suspended, and censorship is legalized. The government has the right to imprison individuals without trial for any period of time.

Hmmm... We've previously satirized the use of "emergency powers" by US Presidents, such as Franklin D. Roosevelt's 1933 confiscation of gold belonging to US citizens, citing his authority to do so as being the Wartime Powers Act of *1917*, even though World War I ended in 1918. [See footnote #10 to that song.]

And under the USA PATRIOT Act (That's actually an acronym. Challenge: Does anyone know what it stands for, without looking it up? ... Answer way below.) and other orders, directives, etc., , we're still holding 173 prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, without trial and without rights, despite Candidate Obama's 2008 pledge to close the camp. On January 7, 2011, President Obama signed the 2011 Defense Authorization Bill, which contains provisions preventing the transfer of Guantanamo prisoners to the mainland or to other countries, thus effectively stopping the closure of the detention facility.

Constitutional rights suspended? Said "Patriot Act" dramatically reduces restrictions on law enforcement agencies' ability to spy on telephone and e-mail communications, and on medical, financial, and other records, acts for which the Constitution requires a warrant signed by a Judge, based on probable cause and sworn testimony in support thereof. Yet the warrantless wiretaps, e-mail sniffing, etc. that started under G. W. Bush continue under Obama, the latter signing laws extending portions of the Act that were set to expire. Change, you can't believe in.

So, why aren't *we* all protesting, and trying to overthrow the government? Just asking ...

[7] As this was being written, Mubarak has dismissed his Cabinet and is installing a new one in an attempt to make a show of reform, but shows no signs of stepping down himself, nor of allowing truly free elections. ... Hey, wait a minute! Doesn't the US have a President who recently replaced a large number of staff members (including Keith Olbermann, as Old Man Ribber so cleverly quipped here), to give some illusion of moving toward the center *as per our other post today*? (heh!)

© 2011 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

Answer to [6]: "Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism Act of 2001". (sheesh!)

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
FG/TT - First and foremost, magnificent job. Although the prospects are not good, I hope President Obama doesn't fall off the same tightrope that Jimmy Carter did with Iran. My brother and I have degrees in Ancient Egyptian Plumbing...we're Pharoh Faucet Majors (rimshot!). At any rate, I gladly score this with three Egyptian sun gods...Ra! Ra! Ra! ;D
TJC - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Best pyramid (rhyme) scheme since Madoff made off with yer last one! Very strong jeweleresque work maximizing effect in this oh-so sparse OS--ewe tewe are truly Hosing Mewebarak!
Mark Scotti - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Great to have Turtle "fiddling" about again. Another "Wonder Of The Parody World" constructed by OUR dynamic duo!!!!!
Patrick - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
$500,000 per soldier? I wonder who collected that?? When you hear government talking gun control, what they will say "crime in the streets" or "drug dealers". What they really mean is "white people rioting". The big question in Egypt, as it could be here "which side will the Army join"? Thanks for the history of "Jesus Loves Me". I learn a lot from your footnotes.
Tommy Turtle - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: Rimshot, indeed! :-D And another for the Ra! LOL!

TJC: Another ROFL comment! Loved "pyramid" ref (heh!), Madoff^2, and Hosing! Here's Hoping you never tighten your comment Sphinxter!

Mark Scotti: A lot of people "wonder" about us! ;) .. sorry about those Jets, Bro, but thanks for the v/c!

Patrick: Umm, wild guess here -- uh, the IRS? ;) ... *Outstanding* point about gun control, and you're the first pundit I've seen make that point from this event. The first move of every dictatorship, whether Nazi, Communist, or whatever, is to disarm the populace, for precisely this reason -- preventing rebellion against their tyranny.
          Glad *someone* appreciates the noTTes, and I always find your commentary perceptive, insightful, and witty. Thanks, friend.
Dave W. - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
un - Phar-oah Indeed !
Christie Marie M - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
"Riot-eously" eloquent! I have a feeling that this event would make the history pages in the future!
Tommy Turtle - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Dave W.: "Yul" be thanked greatly, and glad you enjoyed the "Pharaoh" play! (crawls into shell, fearing reaction at atrocious pun from "Ten Commandments" flic)

Christie Marie M!!!!!! : Long time, no see!!!!! Thanks for re-emerging, and for v/c -- and I bet it'll make the history pages even now! (LOL @ "Riot-eously"!)
Mark Scotti - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
To TT: Thanks about The Jets. At least i got a production number made from it. Check out:
Andy Primus - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Good job Bush & Blair are long gone or we'd all be saying "Here's another nice mess you've gotten us into". Expertly written and footnoted as usual. LOL at "Life is so un-Phar-aoh, Gee!" line.
Tommy Turtle - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Andy Primus: Unfortunately, there's no guarantee that the present Administration won't meddle, despite those promises, if the outcome doesn't suit them... Thanks for v/c and for sharing this author's fave line ... *again*. (same @ Buddy Holly trib).

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