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Song Parodies -> "Santa Claus Won't Come To Our Town"
Original Song Title:
"Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Santa Claus Won't Come To Our Town"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
He knows if you've been good....he know's if you've been bad....he knows if you've been car-jacking.....
He's been to Beirut
He's been to Baghdad
But kids in our street
Are feelin' real sad
Santa Claus won't come to our town
He tried it last year
He gave it his best
He brought a SWAT team
And bullet-proof vest
Santa Claus won't come to our town
Ol' Rudolph's pretty nervous
Coz venison's a treat
His bright red conk's a target, so
Santa's started packing heat!
Yo!-
Although he spreads cheer
And joy to the earth
Three ho's around here
Don't signify mirth
Santa Claus won't come to our town
{INSTRUMENTAL with added gunfire, screaming and police sirens}
The Easter Bunny's missing?
(Here, try the rabbit stew)
So stay away, Kris Kringle, coz
We'll be coming after you!
Oh!-
The locals will rob
They'll have a field day
They'll bugger your elves
Graffiti your sleigh
Santa Claus, don't come to our town!!!
He's been to Baghdad
But kids in our street
Are feelin' real sad
Santa Claus won't come to our town
He tried it last year
He gave it his best
He brought a SWAT team
And bullet-proof vest
Santa Claus won't come to our town
Ol' Rudolph's pretty nervous
Coz venison's a treat
His bright red conk's a target, so
Santa's started packing heat!
Yo!-
Although he spreads cheer
And joy to the earth
Three ho's around here
Don't signify mirth
Santa Claus won't come to our town
{INSTRUMENTAL with added gunfire, screaming and police sirens}
The Easter Bunny's missing?
(Here, try the rabbit stew)
So stay away, Kris Kringle, coz
We'll be coming after you!
Oh!-
The locals will rob
They'll have a field day
They'll bugger your elves
Graffiti your sleigh
Santa Claus, don't come to our town!!!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 19 | 20 | 20 |
User Comments
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Santa just seems to find the lamest excuses. ;-) Wonderful parody. 5's.
another good one Kris. keep it up 555
Well this whole thing is great...but...
The Easter Bunny's missing?
(Here, try the rabbit stew…)
...sent me over the edge...great job!
The Easter Bunny's missing?
(Here, try the rabbit stew…)
...sent me over the edge...great job!
Pure comic gold! Loved the line about 'three hos.' Fives all round.
funny concept...i wrote a similar song last night...guess i'll put it on the back burner for a spell
Thanks for writing one about my town, Kristof...hilariously, though..this is both funny and true, and that's what real comedy is all about.."Top of the Tree" fives
555. I need to do some traditional song parodies myself. =)
Good one Kristof ;) 5s
You live in Philadelphia? Funny stuff!
Santa Claus gonna get gunned down. 5s
I was about to say that I liked the "Three hos", too... but thought you might misconstrue my meaning ;-)
The "They'll bugger your elves/ Graffiti your sleigh" was the best IMHO. Great work Kristof. 555
The comedian Dick Gregory likes to say, "I never believed in Santa Claus, 'cause I knew no white dude would come to my neighborhood after dark." Santa never came to my house when I was little, either. We didn't have a fireplace. That, plus, my mother was cheap.
Clever parody, but I don't think I want to hear what your town did to the tooth fairy.
I choose "bullet-proof vest" to applaud because it just fit so perfectly - nicely set-up - I kinda like this theme of dark Xmas parodies, Kristof - I've never done a Xmas one, but this has got me thinking - maybe this is an idea for the wombats...555
I'm thinking a "Black Hawk Down" scenario here, too bad there there's no song that fits "Jolly Fat Geezer Down", or maybe there is, I'll have to think about that.
John J: She escaped by the skin of her... oh, who am I kidding, it wasn't going to be funny.
Loved the Easter Bunny gag and the vest and the three Hos and........OK, I liked the whole thing...555
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