Twas the light before Citrus and all through my car
Was rumbling and tumbling, you know how kids are
There's Megan and Andrew and Henry I'll mention
Tommy and Tina all building up tension

They've spilled all the peanuts all over the car
I've said it before you know how kids are
When what to my wandering eyes should appear
But a hand very tiny putting my car into gear

I yelled out hey Tina this isn't a joke
As I slammed on the brakes and I throttled the choke
The giggles I heard made my blood turn ice cold
It was Megan who did it at a young three years old

And all of the sudden we're hit from behind
From a truck driver who must have been out of his mind
My bumper fell off from the tremendous impaction
My back made me think I'm in need of some traction

His truck it was old, his breath it was smelly
He had strange tattoos and a big beergut belly
He staggered as he tried walking around
I was wondering why he didn't fall down

His eyesight was poor, his memory shoddy
He even had needle marks all over his body
His plates were outdated, his license suspended
He cannot recall how many cars he's rear-ended

I heard him exclaim as they towed my car off
You don't think it's fair? Tell that to the cops