Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train, it was sunny
Her saltbox house on the coast took her mind off St. Louis
Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name, and money
And the town said "How did a game show player do it?"

The beautiful set was charming, if a little gauche
There's only so far new money goes
They picked out a question and wanna be asked
Their people were eliminated, if a little loud
The doctor had told him to settle down
It must have been her fault his heart gave out

And they said "There goes the next great Weakest Link contestant"
Who knows, if she never showed up what could've been
There goes the maddest player this town has ever seen
He had a marvelous time ruining everything

I want to answer all these great questions to work on
Flew in to ask Jane Lynch herself from the city
Filled the pool with our big prizes and win with the big bucks
And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet
And losing on card game bets with elimination

And they said "There goes the next great Weakest Link contestant"
Who knows, if she never showed up, what could've been
There goes the most shameless player this town has ever seen
He had a marvelous time ruining everything

They say he was playing the game
Never doing the rocks staring out and it never rigged
And in a feud with her best friend
She got his money and dyed it his wallet green
A month is a long time
Jane Lynch sat quietly on that host seat
Free of players with madness
Their men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me

Who knows, if I never showed up what could've been
There goes the loudest player this town has ever seen
I had a marvelous time ruining everything
I had a marvelous time
Ruining everything
A marvelous time
Ruining everything
A marvelous time
I had a marvelous time