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Song Parodies -> "You Won't Get Dinner"

Original Song Title:

"Anti-Hero"

Original Performer:

Taylor Swift

Parody Song Title:

"You Won't Get Dinner"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Hall

The Lyrics

Based upon Spadinner, YouTube memes from the 2000s mostly based off Phillips CD-I games like Link: The Faces of Evil and Hotel Mario, as well as old Mario and Sonic cartoons. * Refers to Bose-Einstein condensate, the coldest substance on the Earth. ** "You" refers to literally you, who are reading this parody right now.
Gee, sure is boring seeing Link just stretch with no adventures
I make war in his windowsill
Yet it is written, only Link can find the sword to stab me
I've made sure his attempts are nil

I should not have bribed hundred grand to Morshu
He'll sell Link horseshoes and corkscrews
Morshu's not some cuckoo
(No matter what price)
Heroes are bases for faces
Link enters one of my places
Then I'll make his face the greatest
(In Koridai)

Else you'll die
I am Ganon, you see
I won't lie, flogging you is ugly
My buddies think that I am biased; I say I'm the winner
And Hyrule is coming, but I promise that they won't get dinner

Oh my, you're thirsty! Did you really think the Water of Life
Could quench your thirst? Bladder refill?
I froze the fountain, and I kept it cool with Bose condensate*
Yeah, Link and Einstein will be killed

Did you catch my frabjous cynicism? My growls got witticism;
Apocalypticism
(My tail's as long as time)
Boy, keep on fishing and swishing
One day, I'll watch as you're pissing
You're trapped! For help you'll be wishing
(In Koradai)

And you'll die
I'm almighty, we see (I'm almighty, you'll see)
It's kill time! All in favor agrees
That you should never get a breakfast, lunch or brunch or linner
You'll have low blood sugar, but I give no fricks. You won't get dinner

I have this dream Link breaks the game; allies with Gay Luigi
He thinks that You** can save us still
Look over there! Ten thousand legions of my Koridians
Will bash you while you burn in --

Yeah, you'll fry
You've no power, I see
And you'll lie
Naked, full of ennui
You're gone. 'Bye
Now kiss Zelda 'fore we, now kiss Zelda 'fore we

'Fore we die (Die)
Everyone except me (Everyone except me)
It's a crime (A crime) When you're better than me (You're not better than me)
I'll stare directly through your soul; you'll always be a sinner
I will strangulate you, then you'll never wonder what's for dinner

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 27

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
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 2   1
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 3   0
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 4   1
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 5   24
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 24
 

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