My front yard tree, I cannot see
The drifts are up to "there"
The salted streets remain a mess
"Emergency" declared [1]
The outlook is abysmal [2]
‘Nother whirl: We must prepare
But groc'ry shelves are empty, looking shabby
We try with Fate to grapple
But the gen'ral sense: surreal
The interstates are skating rinks
For anything with wheels
Deflating to survey it
Our vexation: can't conceal
We’re freezin’ off our a**es, and we’re crabby!
The weather forecast and the radar graph
Have ceased to make us laugh
How do you find a job in Saint Lucia?
How do you pack your bags and blow this town?
How do you find the perfect panacea?
A luxury villa, in paradise spot renowned
Tropical drinks, with min'ature umbrellas
"Beach Blanket Bingo": glamorous and tanned
Then I might decide to stay
And never come back this way
Spending the days relaxing on the sand
Oh, how do you find a job in Saint Lucia?
Parody writers: Not in great demand
A fine Caribbean cruise
Though the rule has been diffuse [3]
But it fin'lly ended up a British land [4]
Nicely tropical, the weather
And we all can chat together
'Cause their English, I can almost understand!
It's the East of Indies, West [5]
Hang a hammock; take a rest
Hear Cre-ole, an Afro-French and Carib swirl [6]
The topography is wild [7]
But the climate, fairly mild [8]
Lose your headaches! Make a change, y'all!
It's a pearl!
How will we make a living? Grow banana? [9]
Sick of the roads unplowed, and cabin-bound
Take what we'll find -- it's warmer than Montana!
Best effort, we'll give it; our silly pun-twists, expound
Maybe we'll sing our parodies and sell 'em
Maybe they need a fiddle in their band
But how can I leave OK
On minuscule teacher pay?
"Work" to TT is "laying" on the sand! ;)
Oh, how to support ourselves in Saint Lucia?
Please, won't all AmIRighters lend a hand?
[1] ...by the governor of Oklahoma
[2] As this was written, a second storm has arrived. (Pause while turtle gloats... ;)
[3] Between 1663 and 1814, the rule changed fourteen times: seven times, British, and seven times, French; hence known as the
"Helen of the West Indies".
[4] In 1979, Saint Lucia became an independent state of the Commonwealth of Nations, being mostly a self-governing entity, but still recognizing HM Queen Elizabeth II as Head of State.
[5] I. e., one of the easternmost of the West Indies islands. ('Indies"? Wow, was Columbus ever lost!)
(FG: Just like a man not to stop and ask for directions! ;)
[6] The official language is English. but Creole is spoken by 95% of the population. It evolved from French, various African languages, and Carib, and is also heard in New Orleans and other originally-French cities in the state of Louisiana (named after Louis XIV, King of France from 1643–1715), USA.
[7] Saint Lucia is a volcanic island, and hence more mountainous than many other Caribbean islands that are essentially formerly-undersea coral reefs (as are South Florida and its Keys). The highest point is 3,120' (950m) above sea level, versus, say, Little Cayman Island (peak 40' / 12m), or Miami-Dade County, Florida, whose highest natural elevation is about 25' (~8m) -- its actual highest points of ground are the landfills. (smile, but true.)
[8] The tropical climate is moderated by northeast trade winds. Being close to the equator, the temperature varies little between winter and summer. Average daytime temperatures are around 84F (29C), and average nighttime temperatures around 64F (18C).
[9] A significant crop, though offshore banking is a big contributor, as in other Caribbean nations. Tourism is suffering badly due to the recessions in the US, Canada, and Europe.