Hard Eggs, Hard Eggs,
For breakfast, I get only Hard Eggs
My wife is not the expert cook, it seems
The only "soft boiled" "over easy" eggs
Are in my dreams

Hard Eggs, Hard Eggs,
No matter how my hungry mouth begs
They're always crappy, the white's hard, too
These darned Hard Eggs won't do

Hard Eggs, Hard Eggs,
How hard is it to cook me soft eggs?
Her name is Shelly, she's my lovin' pet
You'd think she'd know from eggs,
Not always make an omelet..

Hard Eggs, Hard Eggs,
Perhaps I'd better eat these Hard Eggs
Before she leaves me for someone new
And other hard things, too