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Song Parodies -> "Unscalable"

Original Song Title:

"Available"

Original Performer:

Justin Bieber

Parody Song Title:

"Unscalable"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Sometimes there can be a mountain high enough...
Thought I warned you, check your missed calls from me
You'll end up a mess, it's true, really bloody
Just give up this mission now, you should see
That this won't end well for you, neither for me

It's unscalable (yeah-yeah), too hard to grasp (yeah-yeah)
It's unscalable (yeah-yeah), is that hard to grasp?
Don't want this huge fact to click only when your skull hits (yeah)
Hard upon the ground, your brains a fine mist
It's unscalable (yeah-yeah), it's unscalable

You're no mountaineer, you see
Seen you collapse into a big heap just after ten steps
Hear me talkin', don't ignore me
I don't wanna see you fallin', you're a bit shit
Complete shit, it's true, I've got this vision in my head
Of you spread flat on the floor at those rock wall climb things
Wait, let me back up, had no mystical sight then
Was just thinkin', yeah, of Friday's events

I don't want you doin' stupid things, see
No good reason here why you just have to be
Climbin' up this big thing now, out of reach
You're not gonna make it, start acceptin', please

It's unscalable (yeah-yeah), too hard a task (yeah-yeah)
It's unscalable (yeah-yeah), do you love hard tasks?
There isn't one simple trick that no-one but you gets (yeah)
To get to the top, you're just a huge twit
It's unscalable (yeah-yeah), it's unscalable

Give up now, it's hopeless (dude, it's hopeless)
Climb back down, it's hopeless (dude, it's hopeless)

You've got no harness, pretty risky
And I can spot one more problem, buddy, notice this:
Office buildin's are a flat screen
You're not grippin' unless your genes have been meddled with
Are you Spider-Man? You got gecko arms and legs?
Doubt it, so we're gonna see you fail once again
Got no plan to hold on to what you're climbin', twit
So many questions about what you've sniffed

Dude, it's unscalable (yeah-yeah), so you must be mad (yeah-yeah), completely mad
'Cause it's unscalable (yeah-yeah), I think it's fair for us all to slap you right now, man
I hate to sound like a prick, you've forced me into it (yeah)
About fifty-one times that you've pulled this
Scale the unscalable (yeah-yeah), failed the unscalable

Know by now it's hopeless (dude, it's hopeless)
You won't stop, you're hopeless (dude, it's hopeless)

...also don't be like Captain Kirk and try to make love to the "mountain". Unless you want to end up on "What the Fuck Is Wrong with You?", in which case: still don't. That's not a goal anyone should aim for.

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Pacing: 5.0
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Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

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