{ Woody Allen Singers—featuring Barbara Streisand }

[ Choo Choo Choo! Jew Sue You! ]* [ *=sung to the "choochoo-choo" sounds on the MIDI ]

Pardon me Goys—
Is that the Chap that drew a Jew boo?
( Beau-coup! )
Whacky decline
Ash-ken-az' he maligns!

Klan's all aboard—
Adored the Chap that spewed a "Screw Jew"!
( Screw who? )
Casting was there—
Your roll—Grand Wizard's "hot heir"!

You'll lead the Ary-i-an's new Nation, buildin' skinhead rapport
Burn a big ol' cross and then insult the Peace Corps
Ozzy Nazi Shriner
Manifesto signer
And as reigning Poobah you're head meth refiner!

When you wet your whistle at your ol' Mal-i-bar
Paparazzi love ya' 'cause the sound byte's biz-arre
Most of it's appalin'
Disney won't be callin'
Jew's new "Chapaquitic Ted" you are!

[ Choo Choo Choo! Brew Stew You! ]*

Dreamworks insists—
You're gon'na need a new vocation
( Boo hoo! )
Jews don't cause wars
So Mister Gibson, "Up yours!"

Spielberg's pissed (and how! )
'Cause Mel'll ne-ver tell him "Dude—Sha-lom!"
So, Chap that spewed a "Screw Jew"
"Got to screw you back, Holmes!"

[ Choo Choo Choo! Screw You, too! ]*

Chap that drew a Jew boo
Won't you choo-choo to Nome!


{ Mel's reply }

(Yer) hard on me boys—
But is this wrath of Jews a boo-boo?
( Boo boo? )
God sent me signs—
"Hey Goy, the Jews are divine!"

Straight from the Lord—
"Abhorred the Chap that drew a Jew boo"
( Jew coups! )
"Lose that au pair
And Goy, get into some prayer!"

I'll read the Talmud, quit the booze, and make this heartfelt decree:
No more dissin' Woody 'cause he's humpin' Soon-Yi
All my leaves I'm turnin'
No more crosses burnin'
Rosenbergs sold commies nukes—you hear me spurnin'?

Tryin' on some chutzpah with a schmering of schmooze!
Did I mensch'in, gonna get some kosher tattoos?
"High on Manichevitz"
"Tryin' but still Nebbish"
New Jew tats—Oy-hooga!—Tookas "blues"!

[ Choo Choo Choo! Jew Tat-toos! ]*

Paramount says—
Now Cruise is gone they have an op'ning
( Too true! )
I'm gonna score
The lead in "Shindler's List Four!"

Cruise is en-raged ( what's new? )
'Cause "L. Ron's" my new rant—I'm lath'rin foam!
And Chap that used ta' boo Jews—
Name's new— "Ju-Ju Jerome!"

[ Choo Choo Choo! New Ju-Ju! ]*

Chap that used ta' boo Jews—
Brissed, too—Jew to the "bone"!

~