Well, I'm a-gonna raise a fuss, I'm a-havin' a conniption.
'Cause I'm comin' to the plate, and the big guy is a-pitchin'.
Every time the bases loaded, I step up to the plate
the Goose says, "No dice, son, you'll be swingin' late!"

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a-gonna do
'cause there ain't no hits off the summertime Goose!

Well, my manager told me, "Son, a hundred miles an hour.
And when he throws you three pitches, you'll be headed for the shower."
Well, I saw the pitch a-comin', I tried an early swing.
"Now, you don't get a hit, and the Yankees get a ring!"

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a-gonna do
'cause there ain't no hits off the summertime Goose!

I'm gonna take two weeks, gonna have nice little roadtrip.
Maybe when we come back, the Goose will let his heater's load slip.
Well, I called the umpire, and he said, quote,
"I'd like to help ya, son, but strike three, that's all she wrote!"

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a-gonna do
'cause there ain't no hits off the summertime Goose!