Song Parodies -> I Can't Shop
| Original Song Title: | "At The Hop" |
| Original Performer: | Danny And The Juniors |
| Parody Song Title: | "I Can't Shop" |
| Parody Written by: | Kristof Robertson |
The story of an anti-metrosexual....the kind of man who thinks Tommy Hilfiger is a scandinavian hockey player
Blah-blah-blah-blah
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Nah-nah-nah-nah
Argh-argh-argh-argh!
I can't shop!
When in a mall, I need compassion
Coz I've got no skill with fashion
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
All my shirts are polyester
I've the style of Uncle Fester
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
It's a gosh darn scandalwearing socks with my sandals
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Oh, I just cannot shop
Please don't make me shop (don't make me)
Make the horror stop (head's ache-y)
Call the fashion cops
Ohlord.I just cannot shop
A purple posing pouch for swimmin'
All my ties have naked women
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Though from London, I dress "Western"
I find berets inter-estin'
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
So I love cravats; what's wrong with that?
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Man, I just cannot shop
All my dates are flops (they hate me)
Coz I look like Pop(-eye lately)
This has got to stop
OhlordI just cannot shop
(Red shoes?)
[INSTRUMENTAL]
I'm wearing bling; I should be curbin'
It ain't urban, it's disturbin'
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
I use words like "swank" and "dapper"
And my idol's Bjorn from ABBA
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
I hear gals shout "wowsers!" when they see my tweed trousers
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Retail assistants weep when I buy
Satin, sharkskin, flannel, tie-dye
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
I like colours, not a little
Dolled up like a bag of Skittles
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
If I met space guys, even they'd surmise
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Oh, I just cannot shop
Please don't make me shop (don't make me)
These pants, can I swap? (Yes? Maybe?)
OK, I thought not (that's crazy)
OhlordI just cannot shop
(Bad hues!)
Blah-blah-bah-blah
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Nah-nah-nah-nah
Argh-argh-argh-argh!
I can't shop!
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Nah-nah-nah-nah
Argh-argh-argh-argh!
I can't shop!
When in a mall, I need compassion
Coz I've got no skill with fashion
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
All my shirts are polyester
I've the style of Uncle Fester
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
It's a gosh darn scandalwearing socks with my sandals
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Oh, I just cannot shop
Please don't make me shop (don't make me)
Make the horror stop (head's ache-y)
Call the fashion cops
Ohlord.I just cannot shop
A purple posing pouch for swimmin'
All my ties have naked women
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Though from London, I dress "Western"
I find berets inter-estin'
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
So I love cravats; what's wrong with that?
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Man, I just cannot shop
All my dates are flops (they hate me)
Coz I look like Pop(-eye lately)
This has got to stop
OhlordI just cannot shop
(Red shoes?)
[INSTRUMENTAL]
I'm wearing bling; I should be curbin'
It ain't urban, it's disturbin'
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
I use words like "swank" and "dapper"
And my idol's Bjorn from ABBA
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
I hear gals shout "wowsers!" when they see my tweed trousers
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Retail assistants weep when I buy
Satin, sharkskin, flannel, tie-dye
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
I like colours, not a little
Dolled up like a bag of Skittles
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
If I met space guys, even they'd surmise
I can't shop (shop, shop, shop)
Oh, I just cannot shop
Please don't make me shop (don't make me)
These pants, can I swap? (Yes? Maybe?)
OK, I thought not (that's crazy)
OhlordI just cannot shop
(Bad hues!)
Blah-blah-bah-blah
Ha-ha-ha-ha
Nah-nah-nah-nah
Argh-argh-argh-argh!
I can't shop!
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User Comments Follow...
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
it sings itself
Out of a slew of favorite lines, the ones that really made me crack are: "All my shirts are polyester, I've the style of Uncle Fester" and "I use words like "swank" and "dapper" and my idol's Bjorn from ABBA".
You, sir, are a riot!
I couldn't even imagine trying to sing this one out loud! 555+++
You, sir, are a riot!
I couldn't even imagine trying to sing this one out loud! 555+++
It took me a while to get the tune into my head, but, once I did, this was great. Good stuff!
Very funny lines, rhymes, and metaphors, here..top notch..
Thank you all...alvin, Rick (you, sir, are as well), R.S., and AFW. I'm off to bed now...feeling.....sleepy :-)
Good parody of that oldie - 555.
Guess you're never going to shop around the clock, eh?
VERY hard to meet the pacing on the OS...but I did manage to sing this out loud. My wife heard me and said, "OK, I got the message, you don't have to come with me to the mall next time." So THANK YOU KRISTOF!!!
This song.. It... Speaks to me... All 5s
HEE! Lots and LOTS of fun lines, KR...although I'm really seeing you in a totally different light now. You know...I hold in very high regard a man who knows how to dress...so you should probably give me a call the next time you're going to go shopping...and I'll happily lend a helping hand...=)
LOL - yes, you can shop, just badly - that Bjorn from ABBA line killed me, as did the Pop-Eye and the "naked women ties" lines (yes they exist don't they!) - masterful Kristof - 555
Very witty way with words, you have. I want to see what you might do to "Dedicated Follower of Fashion" by the Kinks. "Your right to wear polyester stops where it meets my eye."--Fran Lebowitz
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This is view # 90
Golden Classics Edition album at Amazon.com
