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Song Parodies -> "Brush Up Your Shakespeare"

Original Song Title:

"Brush Up Your Shakespeare"

Original Performer:

Cole Porter

Parody Song Title:

"Brush Up Your Shakespeare"

Parody Written by:

Don Milne

The Lyrics

I wrote this song for home school kids to sing at a Shakespeare festival.
Parents today who care a pip,
Go for classical scholarship.
So to win their hearts one must quote (with ease).
DeTocqueville and Euripides.
One must know Homer and, b'lieve me, you.
Martin Luther... and Montesque!
Unless you know Bastiat, Dickens and Locke.
Mummy and daddy will call you a flop.
But the scholar of them all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'.
Is the scholar people call.
The bard of Stratford-on-Avon!

-refrain-
Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And your parents you will wow.

Just declaim a few lines from "Othella".
And they'll think you're a heckuva fella.
If your mom says your room is a big mess.
Tell her, “Hey, it’s because of the Tempest!”
If she gripes when the plates you aren’t washing...
What are plates? "Much Ado About Nashing!"
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

-refrain-
Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And your parents you will wow.

When your mom says your school is unfinished,
Try a line out of “Merchant of Venished.”
Quoting Shylock remember to tell her,
”I am not bound to please thee with answers.”
When your dad says your spelling is unfit,
You can say that you spell “As You Like It!"
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

-refrain-
Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And your parents you will wow.

If you can't cook a waffle or omlet.
Tell them neither could Falstaff or Homlet.
Just speak with Iambic pentameter.
And they’ll think you’re a pro not an amateur.
When your mom’s mad and you need to please her,
Do a passage from Julius Caesar!"
(Our yoke and sufferance show us womanish.)
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

-refrain-
Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And your parents you will wow.

If your parents are grumblers and swearers,
Cause your math is a “Comedy of Errors,”
If your future they hazard to foretell,
Just remind them that "All's Well That Ends Well!"
If they say that you’re much too young to date,
You remind them of “Romeo and Juliate!”
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

-refrain-
Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And your parents you will wow.

If your writing will sure make your dad scream,
Cover up with "A Midsummer Night's Dream.”
If you can’t get your science or French right,
Do a soliloquy scene from "Twelfth Night."
When you don’t do your chores they get huffy.
Simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!"
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

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Pacing: 2.5
How Funny: 2.0
Overall Rating: 1.5

Total Votes: 2

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