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Song Parodies -> "Blocked by Cigar Case"

Original Song Title:

"Rock and a Hard Place"

Original Performer:

Bailey Zimmerman

Parody Song Title:

"Blocked by Cigar Case"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Cut the Flowers" self-challenge. It's a classic dramatic trope. Dude gets shot, oh noes! Don't worry, his lucky whatever-fits-in-a-pocket blocked the bullet! Pretty easy to do well. But when you do it wrong...
You've suspended all tension
With your dumb twist, you've earned condescension
All I want is a bit of time guessin' "Was he killed then?"
Shot the hero with a bullet, just a basic human
Is he gonna live? Wondered how you'll do it
But this just in: you're a whole twit

The shot got blocked by cigar case, cop-out, a disgrace
First thought that I'd misplaced the set-up scene before
But no way, that's not it, you completely botched it
Was no Chekhov's Gun shit, pulled it out your back door
Is that how the hero gets saved? The shot got blocked by cigar case?

Put no effort in
Since no way, now how can that thin shirt
Hide that lump of metal now, was never there in the centre

Before the "blocked by cigar case" nonsense excuse played
Like a retcon was made when reception was poor
But that tale does not fit when the stupid plot twist
Happened between cuts instead of next season, forced
To make sure the hero was saved so it got blocked by cigar case

And though I could rant forever 'bout how rarely ever
Does this happen in real life but whatever
What is more shit 'bout this one bit

Why'd you go "blocked by cigar case"?
This guy has no smoke intake, what's he got that case for?
Man, I would've bought it if he got shot in
A goddamn fruit pie tin he down-shirted for warmth
This trope's overdone anyway, how much more of this will we take?

Wellington: His Highness is dead.
Blackadder: Actually, I’m not sure I am. Fortunately that cigarillo box you gave me was placed exactly at the point where the cannon-ball struck. I always said smoking was good for you.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 72

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   70
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User Comments

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Seth Retallick - January 21, 2024 - Report this comment
Nice parody, shame about you cleaning out the cookies as always Seth.

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