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Song Parodies -> "Ice Ice Baby (Condi Rice Remix)"

Original Song Title:

"Ice Ice Baby"

Original Performer:

Vanilla Ice

Parody Song Title:

"Ice Ice Baby (Condi Rice Remix)"

Parody Written by:

Paul V. Black

The Lyrics

Yo, VP, let's kick it!

All right stop, pontificate, and listen
Rice is back with a brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of Dick tightly
Smooths out his bad lies, daily and nightly
Will it ever stop? Yo- I don't know.
W's in Crawford, so I'll go
To the extreme I sack the truth like a vandal
Light up the rage of the 9/11 panel.

Damn! We found no weapons that boom!
So I baffled all the folks in the Washington press room.
Deadly, when I trot the Bush alibi
Adminstration's test? Send the best. "Yes" says I.
"Love it or leave it" was Ari Fleischer's way
Too bad he got replaced by that kid McClellan -hey!

Yes there was a problem, no one solved it
Can't find Osama, so the VP revolves it


Rice Rice Baby
Rice Rice Baby
Rice Rice Baby

Now the "war on terror" is jumpin'
With the troops sent in and the artillery thumpin'
Quick to the point, What's the point? I'm fakin!
No Al-Quaeda link, but the Admin unshaken
And the airport? It used to be so simple.
Now it goes crazy when they find a thimble
Think it's a grenade because's it's got those dimples

So we're stuck in Iraq, and damn near solo
Rollin in War 2.0
When our guard lets down, the grenades they throw!
The Sunnis don't stand by, wavin' just to say Hi

Did we stop? Hell no, we just rolled by
Kept on, pursuing to the next stop
Busted up Baghdad, crown jewel of Iraq
That city's quiet, yo,
so we continue to Fal-lu-ja's mine-filled avenues!
Girl's were hot wearing full-length birkas
Sunni's, Shiites, trackin' us like Sherpas
Furious, we can't get them in line
Cause if we wanna build a nation, we gotta find our spine
The Iraquis so ill, their hate more bitter than brine
Gunshots rang out like a bell
Dropped into prone, all we heard were shells
Fallin' on the concrete real fast
Jumped in our tanks, slammed on the gas
Bumper, to bumper, the avenues were packed
Tried to get away but the whole city's stacked
Peacekeeps on the scene, You know what I mean?
But they get blown up, along with several arms fiends
Clearly there's a problem: Who's gonna solve it?
$87 billion sure as hell won't dissolve it


Take heed, all satirical poets:
Halliburton's on the take just in case you didn't know it
Dick's id, that gets all its contracts no-bid
Leavin' Donald Rumsfeld feelin' like a poor kid
Can't profit from from the chemical spills
Much less foster a vision or deal
Conducted and formed. What a hell of a concept!
He spouts the hype, as if he were in precept.
Don plays on the fade, his advice to Rice:
Lie like a dog on a lazy day. So fast, all the pundits say "Damn"
"If equivocation was a drug, I'd sell it by the gram."
But I keeps my composure when it's time to let loose
Magnetized by the mic while I spill the juice:
"Yes we have problems we invented
But ones no silver bullet could have prevented."

Yo Dick, let's get out of here! Word to G. Dubya!

Rice Rice Baby, Too Cold

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 3.7
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   1
 4   1
 5   1

User Comments

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MrMacphisto - April 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Damn... that was straight up illin'! "Something grabs a hold of Dick tightly" LOL
James L - April 15, 2004 - Report this comment
A great parody from one of the great classics
mike - December 25, 2010 - Report this comment
No Madonn@ didn't give permission on vanilla's song ice ice baby He wrote it @ll by himself using a Queen album, a hug @nd @ mother 2 word it up

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