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Song Parodies -> "Kennedy in the Car"

Original Song Title:

"Whiskey in the Jar"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Metallica

Parody Song Title:

"Kennedy in the Car"

Parody Written by:

Big G

The Lyrics

Teddy Kennedy thought it was tourture to simulate drowning, So I thought I'd
remind everyone about a little place called Capaquick. A note I wasn't there for the
record the pronoun I is used because that's whats in the orginal song.
As I was going over
The great Chapaquick night life
I saw Edward Ken-man
His liqor he was drinking

He first produced his girl friend
He then produced his car keys
He said
"I'm gonna go now,
Cause you see this girl is pregnant."

He drove on down the highway
And he was pretty wasted
He drove on down the highway
And it brought them to the creek
He told that young girl that he loved her
No never would he leave her
But the Devil take the Ted man
Cause you know he tricked her easy

Musha ring dom a do dom a da
Right off the bridge oh-no
Right off the bridge oh-no
that's Kennedy in the car-o

Being drunk and weary
He swam from that reckage
Not taking her with him
And he damn sure knew the danger

She lived for about 5 miuntes
and then she inhaled water
Ted ran off from the crime scene
and now he's on the Senate

Musha ring dom a do dom a da
Right off the bridge oh-no
Right off the bridge oh-no
it's Kennedy in the car-o

Now some men bribe the jurries
and some men get convicted
some men fight the charge and they do get aquited
Ted he pulled strings and
got away with murder
That man should be in prison
That man is degenerate liberal

Musha ring doma do dom a da (Yeah Yeah Yeah)
Right off the bridge oh-no
Right off the bridge oh-no
That's Kennedy in car-o

Kennedy in the car-o

Musha ring dom a do dom a da
Musha ring dom a do dom a da (killer)
Musha ring doma do doma da
Yeah
Some of the details may be a bit off to fit the song so for the record Teddy ran off a bridge in Chapaquick he had a pregant woman in the car and she drowned
while he swam away. And Bush never killed anyoen directly before I get a
bunch of liberals posting about the war.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.3
How Funny: 3.5
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 12

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 4
 4
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 0
 1
 
 5   5
 7
 6
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

dude - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
wow, a Ted Kennedy parody about Chappaquiddick. So relevant, so topical, so lame you couldn't even spend 20 seconds with google to look up the name. Typical wingnut crap, can't talk about what's been accomplished the GOP (ie. nothing) just keep bashing the enemies to make them look bad. I'd love to see all the high and mighty retards who bring this stupid thing up in the same situation, and see if they panic to a point where they can even save their own skin, let alone someone elses.
Big G - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Hey dude take down that mirror ever heard of the word "Borked"? I'm just putting it into perspective yeah maybe I was a bit rude but honestly Teddy belongs in prison with the part time vigliantes. Oh and I know the GOP aren't doing anything and it's because they are spineless cowards and I'm sick and tired of hearing about reaching over to the otherside of the aisle Dems haven't done that since the 1700's.
Paul Robinson - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Suggestions, Sir...(1) Search your "Tool Bar" for "Spell Check" - click on it before posting your works. Even bad, silly, pointless, dated ideas ought to be expressed coherently. The sloppiness in this piece labels you a "fool" before one even attempts to wade through the mindless twaddle on this page. (2) Buy a current newspaper or periodical...see what is happening in the world NOW...THINK about what you read and see if you can find something to say that anyone else might actually read and think was worthwhile to consider. Otherwise you are just talking to yourself - I have no bias against mental masturbation, but it really should be a private activity. By the way, let's just suppose you could have your little fantasy fulfilled here...OK...POOF! Evil Teddy is in prison and is strung up by his gonads...fine...how does that change ANYTHING that is happening in the world today? OOPS! Back to reality now...OH...geez...sad to say the only one in that prison today is YOU...Before you get angry and fire off an idiotic retort accusing me of being...whatever...why don't you sit quietly somewhere and reflect on where you are at and if it is where you really want to be...sincerely...I mean you no harm...good luck...
Steve K. - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
The question I've had about the Chappaquiddick episode is, how could he make that wrong turn even though he was familiar with the island? I'm no fan of Ted K., but what happened was an accident. Any prison time he might have deserved, for involuntary manslaughter at the most, would be long overwith by now.
Michael Pacholek - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
To be rational: Contemporary films showed that the bridge in question was one lane, wood, poorly aligned and completely unlit. A completely sober driver with no ill intentions could have easily gone off it, particuarly in a car the size of a '67 Oldsmobile sedan. It has since been replaced by a modern structure. Now, to give the author of this parody what he deserves: Someday you will be old, probably infirm, and need Social Security, Medicare and possibly Meals On Wheels. Ted Kennedy has always fought for the first, sponsored the second, and wrote the bill that created the third. And despite all his big spending, he's been part of the last six Congresses to pass balanced budgets, all under Democratic Presidents. (His brother, LBJ and Clinton -- surprise!) He's the greatest Senator of the 20th Century. There is no evidence, let alone proof, that the death of his passenger was due to malicious intent. And for someone so concerned with her, you don't even name her: Mary Jo Kopechne, who worked for Bobby's '68 campaign. That's why they were all on the island: It was a barbecue for Bobby's campaign workers. Let's not forget that, since marrying his second wife, Ted has been faithful, something Newt Gingrich can't claim. And he's not as fat as Newt, Henry Hyde or Rush Limbaugh (all of whom have been married more, too). Speaking of Drug Rush, Ted hasn't faced serious accusations of substance abuse since he remarried, either. Finally, Ted never stole a Presidential election or allowed a 9/11 to happen or diverted American troops from the hunt for bin Laden or lied about his reasons for going to war. Ted Kennedy is a better man than you are. So are most Republicans, and for me to say THAT shows just how loathsome you are. Hell, as loathsome as he is, even Limbaugh has done better Ted parodies than this!
Paul Robinson - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
OH...for the record...DKTOS - did not vote.
Big G - July 08, 2005 - Report this comment
Mm perhaps you guys are right but what you've failed to answer is the most important question: Why didn't he save the girl? Any man worth the air he breaths will risk thier lives to save a woman in thier care, whether it was intentional or not the main crime Teddy comitted was leaving her to die. I admit maybe I rushed into this parody a bit too quickly but I stand by my main point: Kennedy has no room to complain about drowning. Oh and stop acusing me of mental masturbation it's you libs that come up with fantasy worlds where Bush knew about 9-11 ahead of time, the KKK and NRA are connected, Micheal Moore deserved his Award (all of which have NO proof whatsoever except for fake memos a la Dan Rather) shall I go on? And I'm not in prison, I'm in Hell: a Public University, Demvile, Moore-Town, Liberal city. Oh and MP let me know when you've grown up enough to submit a comment that doesn't resort to calling me loathsome if you don't like the parody then just say so and leave my personality out of it. Becuase frankly I don't give a rat's ass what you think of me!
Johnny Pyro - July 09, 2005 - Report this comment
All politics aside.......as a current Massachusetts resident, I for one think that if Mr. Kennedy wasn't a 'Kennedy' then jail time he WOULD have served. And what's this bullshit about writing parodies for current events??? A parody is a parody and can be written about past present or future. Idiot. Great parody Big G.
Paul Robinson - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Johnny Pyro, you can write parodies about any time period or event or anything...I just wondered what the point of dredging up this particular issue at this particular time was about...not that it matters, really...it's a long time ago...people have either made up their mind about what happened or not...folks who were not around or do not remember are not going to care one way or the other...so the only point that I could see in writing such a parody now seems to be to vent one's spleen...it's hard for me to imagine being fixated on this issue all this time...people that might be of the same mind might head-bob a lilttle, and maybe bitterly muse about how "that awful SOB got away with it"...OK...and this accomplishes what? Those who disagree will call you a loony wing-nut and those without a firm stance will merely bypass the entire piece...which is why I referred to this piece as "mental masturbation"...Nothing wrong with that - I just hope it was good for him. And hey, I guess I was wrong, since it appears YOU enjoyed this superbly-crafted, well-thought out piece of work... bon apettit...
Stray Pooch - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Actually, Paul, the reason for bringing it up was clearly stated in the intro. Kennedy (according to the author) said that "simulated drowning" was torture (I presume in reference to Gitmo or Abu Ghraib). If that is accurate, it is both timely and fair to call TK on his hypocrisy. I disagree with any characterization of TK as a "great" senator, much less the greatest. But this is not a political website. On merit, this parody ain't the worst I've ever seen, but it does have many flaws. The most glaring is the continued misspelling of "Chappaquiddick." That also changed the syllable count - which threw off the pacing a bit. Incidentally, I think "Teddy in the Car-o" would have been better than "Kennedy" due to syllable count. I DO know the original and there was some good work in the parody, but overall the errors made the piece rather unpalatable. I can give a 333, and I think that is fair, but less than that may just be sour grapes.
Michael Pacholek - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Why didn't he save her? This man, whose back was broken in a plane crash five years earlier and has never fully recovered, repeatedly dove in and failed to get the door open. So he went for help. What happened after that has never been fully explained. But to say he didn't try to save her is a lie. Did Bush know about 9/11 ahead of time? Obviously not, since his boys knew he needed plausible deniability. His crime was not causing it or thoughtfully allowing it, but ignoring the warning memos of the last TWO National Security Advisers, including his own Condi Rice, fixating on missile defense, which would have been absolutely useless that day. Are the KKK and NRA connected? As far as I know, only in their fanatic love of firearms; in such, the NRA only hurts people through apathy, while the KKK goes for willful harm. Michael Moore didn't deserve his Oscar? Which documentary that year was better than "Bowling for Columbine"? You see, THAT was the film that got the Oscar, not "Fahrenheit 9/11," which is still more truthful than Bush's version of the stories. And if you don't like being in a public university in a liberal place, transfer! You're not too lazy to do that, are you? And as for calling you "loathsome," well, if the jackboot fits, WEAR IT!
Big G - July 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Moore lied in Bowling, he used cheap editing tricks to change peoples answers like this "But... he didn't try to save her... obviously" Says MP about my parody. Oh and I bet you won't complain about the NRA if a gun owner saves you from a mugger. Thanks for the advice by the way Johnny I'm doing my best but my hands work faster than my mind somtimes. Oh and you wanna talk about apathy, what did Clinton do after the Cole bombings... anyone, anyone at all?
Paul Robinson - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Big G, I'm going to steer clear of any of the political positions or views in this comment and focus solely on your presentation and format issues. Your remark about "my hands work faster than my mind sometimes" (which also had a mispelling in it, BTW) is a lame and lousy excuse for errors in a posted piece...mind and fingers work very fast on my end (and for many other folks on this site)...and then I review my piece for errors NUMEROUS times before posting...and if I am not sure about the spelling of a word I use a Spell Check function on my Word Processing program to verify or correct that word - and sometimes I STILL miss something...which really annoys me greatly. I'm consoled only by the fact that I made the effort. I don't see why you couldn't do the same if the work is important enough for you to want other people to read it and take it seriously. OH, and you even thanked the wrong person for the note about your errors - it was "Stray Pooch" rather than "Johnny Pyro"...and what? MY suggestions to improve your writing and postings are chopped liver? No mention...no thanks? I took the time to look past our political and philosophical differences to make that note, and although it was somewhat pointed it was nonetheless offered in a positive sense...It was pointed because you have not shown any indication of responding to "subtle" efforts...this seems rather unappreciative to me...perhaps I expect too much...
Big G - July 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I didn't mean to be rude, I am sorry for ignooring advice I appricaite it. I now know the Marry Jo lived in fact for hours after the wreck, and that there were many places he could have gone for help, his claim to be in shock is BS because he was well enough to get two lawyers to help him out instead of the fireman, who could be forced to testify about his conversation.
Paul Robinson - July 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Apology accepted - You're welcome...
Tricia - July 12, 2005 - Report this comment
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/queen259.shtml Another Kennedy Parody.. Yours was fun, geepers but the liberals cannot stand it when a good parody is written well and is against their own! Pacing and funny... 555
spermsayer - September 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I found this parody to be one of the funniest I've read. Then I went to read the comments and almost split my sides!! My Lord the liberals (as they have obviously announced themselves by their rhetoric) cannot stand even a mention that one of their icons is anything less than an archangel! Getting over oneself might be advised in their case. I have read many parodies attacking, in often poor form, with little regard to the original song, right wing personalities. I have refrained from comment on these more negatively focused songs as that is not really what this site is for. Guess the left wingers cant figure that out. Funny as they always portray themselves as being so educated.....

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