(intro of crazed other-worldly hick hillbilly verse)


If Tom weren't insane
who would he be? - and would he flash that grinning face
at every photo op if he...was...normal?
What would you ask if you had just two questions?

like "Tom,
Tom,
what's with Kate?"

"Tom,
um,
...sure you're straight?"

Tom, Tom, Tom-Tom-Tom

What if Tom was one of us?
just a guy like one of us?
not a scientologist
kind of like a plain......bloke

If Tom could emote
without the cameras on, and we got to see...
I guess then maybe we'd all hafta believe
that Tom was human - that he would not self-destruct
in seven seconds

coz Tom,
that
would be great

Tom,
cat,
good luck, mate

Tom, Tom, Tom-Tom-Tom

What if Tom was one of us?
Is it so preposterous?
He could stay anon-y-mous?
like an ordin'ry......dude
tryna bake his own......food
not always IN that pumped-up mood
with all that tres-cool attitude
so scared of being misconstrued

(sad, tormented guitar break)

Tom
Tom
it's okay

Tom
Tom
if you're ***

Tom, Tom, Tom-Tom-Tom

What if Tom stopped following
V'nilla Sky-entology?
wide-shut eyes stopped boggle-ing?
like an ordin'ry......bloke
just like us ordinary folk
scoffing whoppers and a coke
or maybe coffee and a smoke
and not a scoffed-at
"in"
joke

...demanding, catlike, silly strokes

...withstanding crap right 'til he croaks