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Song Parodies -> "I Need Two Syllables"

Original Song Title:

"Criminal"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Fiona Apple

Parody Song Title:

"I Need Two Syllables"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Constructing a good parody using a quirky OS as material can be frustrating and sometimes quite difficult. I had about 4 different previous story ideas for this one that only went about half-way. I started this one over a month ago and set it aside...and then when I looked at it last night it all seemed to fall into place...at least I think so....
(instrumental intro)

This is a real bad work
I've missed verses and my lyrics do not scan
Yes, and right now I'm irked
No, this ain't 'Top Drawer'; say maybe the 'Trash Can'

Think I prob'ly should re-write it
It's done wrong and I sure won't turn this rubbish in
I've perused it through and right now it just does not read true
It's just crap destined for the trash bin

Need a word that means "false pretense"
But it needs to be two syllables
and it has to rhyme with "eve"
where's my language reference?
Seems maybe I need help from above

'Effin' help me, I'm sure in a jam
I can't pace this parody; no way it can be sung
When now I try to sing the emphasis is bland
So I keep changing phrases but each one of them sounds dumb

Oh, Jeez, would someone please help me to write this
I must continue mending all these lines 'til they're good enough to submit
I'm stuck without a clue and it's past bed-time, still I'm writing 'poo'
At a dead-end; guess I'm whistling in the wind

all I need is one more sentence
and this piece will be submittable
But it should be fun to read
To receive some good comments
One good sentence will not be good enough

(Instrumental break)


Do not want 'just OK'
There's got to be some way
There must be words to say to make this thing go
I sit here in dismay
Thought process does betray
My brain has turned to hay; the wheels in there turn slow

This is starting to make me tense
I cannot match up these syllables
Man, I'm really getting steamed
'Cause right now I feel real dense
Did not think writing this would be that rough

I'm so tired of all this nonsense
Could my problem be subliminal?
This is harder than I dreamed
Thought I had the competence
Was deceived thinking I could do this stuff

~ ~ {Long Instrumental segment all the way to the end fade} ~ ~

~ (...Uh-uh-huh-huh-huh) ~

{Talking here)
...Oh.....hmmm....."deceive"..."DECEIVE!"...

{Singing again}
(Hey, that's my word!)

[From here to the end fade the Happy Author is dancing around and occasionally singing "Dee-ee-cee-ee-eee-eve, yeah, that's my wor-er-erd" to places in the instrumentals where it sort of fits, all the while tapping out the beat on a round, 18 ounce cardboard container of "Quick Rolled Oats", throwing in some quiet little, high bursts of "ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha's" where some sort of Middle-Eastern wind instrument comes in at some places]

~ ~ ~ the happy end ~ ~ ~

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 0
 
 5   6
 6
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Red Ant - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Outstanding. Excellent. No wait, those are 3 syllables. Two syllable word for this: Brilliant ( or, is that my Southern draw chopping that from 3 into 2?). This is a hard OS and you did a great job Paul, especially on the internal rhymes. 5s.
Adagio - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Hee he. I love that little dance. :) 5's
Paul Robinson - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Red Ant - Thank you much...when I saw the file in my word doc list last night I didn't even remember starting this version...I had only a couple completed verses...and didn't really care for how the flowed for the most part...starting on them one-by-one. Yeah, it was hard, but those are the most rewarding to finally nail down. Adagio...you REALLY would have enjoyed the "LIVE" version then...LOL...thanks!
Rick C - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Funny you should submit this today. I had the same problem with the one I submitted today. I started it about 2 months ago but, just couldn't find the right words to finish it. I woke up at 4:30 AM, sat down and, within an hour it was done. Great job, Paul....5s
Paul Robinson - July 21, 2005 - Report this comment
Well, Rick C, maybe great minds that got started in the Northeastern US think alike...hmmh...that might be kind of a scary thing...like in "Village of the Damned" ~ ~ ~
Tim Mayfield - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
I think the two syllables you are looking for are: fifteen!!
Paul Robinson - July 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Hmmm...that works, too...Thank you, Tim ~ ~ ~
Paul Robinson - May 02, 2006 - Report this comment
Hmmm...I see that since I posted this I changed a few words in it to work better (which I discovered when I tried to sing a vocal overlay version). If you are interested, sub OUT "the Trash Can" on the 4th line and use "say maybe 'Garbage Can..." and on the 4th line from the end of the regular lyrics remove the entire line "Could my problem be subliminal?" and use "This is making me real irritable". I see stuff like this from time to time when I happen to re-visit stuff I had previously posted and then spent a lot of time trying to record. When you actually try to record your parodies you often discover better words or lines than those your originally posted. anyway...blah, blah, blah...right? lol...

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