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Song Parodies -> "Beer In Heaven"

Original Song Title:

"Tears In Heaven"

Original Performer:

Eric Clapton

Parody Song Title:

"Beer In Heaven"

Parody Written by:

Tim Mayfield

The Lyrics

"Brother Bill, is it true there's no beer in heaven?"
"Well Stuart, I'm glad you asked that question. I've written a song to explain our position on this deeply theological question."

Would we feel ashamed
If we got drunk in heaven?
Who would get the blame
If we passed out in heaven?
Beer would be strong
And never gone
Do you know if they're serving beer in heaven?

Would it come in cans
If they have beer in heaven?
Would they have my brand
If they served beer in heaven?
You think it pays
To pray this way?
"Lord, I hope they let me drink beer in heaven"

Wine would make me frown
Can't handle whiskey
Moonshine in a jar, brings me to my knees...toss cookies

My only cure
Pass on liquor
So I hope that there will be beer in heaven...

Can you say there ain't
Any cold beer in heaven?
Could you be a saint
If you drank beer in heaven?
I must be wrong
I'll end this song
'Cause I'm sure Peter won't drink beer in heaven...

"Ah, that's too bad. Do you know of any religion that does believe in beer in heaven?"
"No Stuart. I don't know of any."

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 28

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   27

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

John Barry - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
In heaven there is no beer. . . . 5s
Rick C - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Tim, I think there's beer but, no hangovers...555
kristof Robertson - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Absolutely LOVED this, Tim...especially the intro and outro. Big, big 5's
Ravyn Rant - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
OMG. It's not often that I read a parody and think, "Why didn't I think of this first?!" It's even rarer that I read one and think, "I want to steal this!" But this song just may have a place in the Sunday beer service (see ) - and even if it doesn't I can think of a couple dozen people just off the top of my head who absolutely HAVE to see this. You've made my day. Here's a five-pack from me.
alvin rhodes - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
the best beer is in hell actually, but its hard to get cold...5s
Tim Mayfield - August 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks John, I can't remember if that was the Blues Brothers or Bob and Doug McKenzie (or even IF it was one of them).

Thanks Rick, so there's beer, but no aspirin? ;-)

Thanks kristof, glad you like it, er LOVE it. I actually almost didn't include the intro and outro. I wrote them for my benefit, but at the last minute decided to include them in the upload.

Thanks Ravyn, wow, it's not often people tell me they wished they thought of something first and even rarer that they want to steal it. I'm honored that I made your day.

Thanks alvin, "Would they all be mean, just cause there's beer in Hades? Have unmarried flings, just to get beer in Hades? Beer's always hot, while the guests rot. But at least they've getting beer in Hades"
Yet Another Dutchman - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
You've raised an intriguing question. If there IS beer in heaven, it would sure explain the design of mankind.
john ulvang - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Yes Stuart, there are lots of religions that adhere to the belief that there is beer in heaven: Buddhistweisers,SouthernPabstists,Paguinnessm,Hindukens,Hebrewskis,Anglin­acans, Molsunnis,The Tau Boys,Brewids,The Steeple Chasers,Amishstels,The Orthodoxx(sometimes called OrthodosEquis),Haloenbraus,Church of the Burning Busch,The Lager Day Saints,Dos Seculars,Miller Baha'i Life,Falstaffarians, I can't think anymore I gotta go to work... 555, good song. Can you make one outa one of them there religions?
Michael Pacholek - August 17, 2005 - Report this comment
There is at least one religion that believes there is beer in heaven. It's called NASCAR, and they pray to St. Dale.
2nz - September 05, 2005 - Report this comment
There probably is, but we won't need it by that point. Clever use of the original, Tim. On another note, my personal favorite from jogn ulvang's list is "The Lager Day Saints".
Agrimorfee - September 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) But there is a song that answers these ponderous questions: "In heaven, there is no beer/That's why we drink it here..." 555
Larry Hensley - September 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This was funny. The first thing I thought of when I first saw this was the song that Agri quoted.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hel-lo? Holy Spirit. Water into wine. Heaven will surely be packed with alco-holy-cs. Fun aprody and nice recording as well.
Adagio - September 21, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good song!
Peter Andersson - September 24, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM - Since Jesus was waterproof on the outside (he walked on water, remember?) there is a good chance that there is nothing but alcohol in heaven, cos logically (and taking that water into wine thingy into account too) as celestial beings we'll all be waterproof on the inside as well... :-)
Red Ant - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Could have sworn I commented here before. Funny parody Tim, excellent recording.
John Jenkins - September 25, 2005 - Report this comment
You do raise a serious theological question, Tim. All I know is that beer is served at Angel baseball games; and if beer is good enough for Angels, it must be good enough for heaven. And my guess is that it comes out of kegs, not cans. Oh, very good title, ending, and parody.
Arwen - September 26, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM...another drinking song, eh? Again, I can't say that I've given your subject matter much thought...considering my lack of interest in alcohol...but this was fun to sing along with..."toss cookies..." made me giggle...=)
Johnny D - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great parody, Tim, and great comment, john ulvang!
Adam Eccleshall - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'd be a bit miffed if something as mundane as dying stopped me from drinking; good job I'm going to live forever, so it won't be a problem. Great song :-)
EmiLoca - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Heaven = Beer. I assume. 555, the Lager-Day Saint - September 28, 2005 - Report this comment
There's a microbrewery here in Utah (really!) that made a beer called St Provo Girl. It's now just called Provo Girl, probably because the St Pauli Girl had a hissy-fit. Too bad, because I assume that beers with "Saint" in the name are the most likely to make it to Heaven.

I coulda sworn I commented already - must have been on the recording WHICH YOU ALL MUST LISTEN TO. Great stuff, Tim. I love it all the way through but am particularly enamored with the conversational bookends. This has drawn some hilarious comments too, so have a drink on me, everyone.
Phil Alexander - September 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Could have sworn I commented on this first time around. Wonderfully optimistic parody... one can only hope and pray that there is beer after the final closing time ;-)
Rex - September 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I hope I don't have to learn to like hot beer when I die...
Rick C - September 30, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I liked the parody and the recording both.
Claude Prez - September 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Great idea, great job with it, and great recording, too. And to John's list of religions, I'll have to add those wacky Roman Cathelobs.
Tim Mayfield - October 01, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks all. I thought this was a good idea when it hit me, thanks for confirming it.
Kristof Robertson - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm SOOO late, Tim...but as this was one of my fave parodies of the month, I wanted to craft a wonderful, 50 line tribute to it...and then my cat ate it. ;-)
Tim Mayfield - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks Kristof. Since you commented above, it's quite apparent that you read it, plus you voted for me (thanks by the way), plus I think Claude Prez said commenting is not exactly required as part of the SOTM, plus it's a Monday, plus it's football season... 'course seein' as how the cat ate it an' all, you're excused anyway. ;-)
Dee Range - October 03, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM. Loved it, but one question. Assuming we both make it that far...a big assumption for me....can I have your wine, whisky, and moonshine?
Tim Mayfield - October 06, 2005 - Report this comment
Dee Range, if we both make it that far you can have all the wine, whiskey and moonshine that I have coming to me.
shit at telenet dot be - January 23, 2007 - Report this comment
I would like to hear this song, I'm a raging alcoholic. This could be my hymne .. Cause i'm dying SOmeOne pls mail me
dave_molotov - January 28, 2009 - Report this comment
great song.but who is stuart who is bill? just wondering
Dave - February 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Heaven is supposed to be somewhere where our hearts are dear, In my case carp fishing and plenty of beer, Therefore when I'm going to die. All I ask is for a preacher to lie
Cal Jennings - March 17, 2011 - Report this comment
I did a parody called "Beer in Heaven" some time back. My YouTube account is CalJennings.

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