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Song Parodies -> "I'm Heinous"

Original Song Title:

"My Name Is"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"I'm Heinous"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

I'll be surprised if this gets through the censors. Then again, if you're reading
this, AmIRight has gone from scraping the bottom of the barrel to salvaging
the chemical leaks seeping into the soil below!! Hoorah!!!
Why, I'm heinous. Grot, I'm heinous. Ooh, I'm heinous.
(Chicken-licker!) Shame Hades.
Why, I'm heinous. Duh, I'm heinous. Slut, I'm heinous.
(Dickhead-sicko!) Shame Hades.
Why, I'm heinous. Grot, I'm heinous. Ooh, I'm heinous.
(Quickened-rigour!) Shame Hades.
Why, I'm heinous. Duh, I'm heinous. Slut, I'm heinous.
(Vicar-kicker!) Shame Hades.

[Clears throat] Accuse me.
Can I have the egestion of your ass for my dinner?

I skitz on upright bipeds. (Argh! Argh!)
All o' these reap sticks chine-trimmed males and each one of them died: dead.
Love a sloppy feed like poo ejected ripe, piled in.
Try spit with wet, mucked slop. Hearses? I like them. (Yurgh.)

Insane, irate, I'm dyin' from lead a-cet-ate.
But I canned bigger trout fish: buy curled glyceryl-trinitrate!
With procti-tis red: inflaming is ablaze, man. (Uh-oh.)
Your eyes are glazing. Damn you're blatant!

Well, my serge felt was smelt out of gummed cud-that-melts,
I have mongered orange-coloured pelts for gelt: Pop funk apparel.
Got rich off this back-of-a-truck free ship stock.
I can't guess why guards wouldn't let Iraqian mines import!

I choke a cat, drowned with gas.
Then chortle and laugh, masturbating at pitches that sound quite crass.
Bum, rear, butt. Hades' ladies. Women: fat and foul bunch.
I won't cough up bucks. Bods steady, immense and now lunch.


My pigeon creatures wander the country with hernia hives.
Spank a lot? Sexy breasts of minors spurt my drive!
Tracking down a babe. Candy from strangers?
Mace is an ice-breaker! Raped soon enough. Use a sock, it's safer.

Thwarting all hip hop, made this racket. Pissed off?
Pashed the eulogist. Oh f***, it's the exumed stiff corpse!
Extra third-testicle, running nude is a spectacle.
At the game, stripped, while your team is startled: "Look how it bends!"

Pointy knives are bent, just like scythes, pikes and slice tools.
I just trounced out my blood. Daubed more wounds than riot feuds.
I sold vir-gins as sluts for three bucks: Heinous father?
Hey, I beckon you seduce my sons in chained leather(tethers.)

You know you screwed up when there's blimming thrush in pants.
A pipe to flush your glands, cripes your semen's gushing jam.
A trying, tight hassle. Test a clyster-lavage.
Oh, you drained it. So brave! Anus is cut sore. Massage?


Stop escape, this crim freed from his lock-up bay. (Abet him!)
Cock gyrates. Woah, with Zander copulates.
I'm a petty-ass peeve, brain too septic to wipe. (Yuck, that.)
Vile gaffs that are hectic as live wires, electric, affecting your hype.

Am I dumber than no-one? Life is fecked if that's right.
I just sank a British bomber. Wrecked it last night.
Oh my wife sighs, regretting my life.
My daddy had abortioning cleared. But my mum argued: "Hector, he's five!"

Jokes quipped like an illegible force.
I shit like a horse. Love fanny intercourse
When I pass spittle, why's it not that funny? Guys can't cope this?
"How'm I supposed to jest freely, man, you named me 'hopeless'."

I take a tape of rap, I imitate them.
With a wallet soon empty, my tunes libel Eminem.
I'm teemin' sad.
Parodies, when they're seemin' bad.
Remember my wit leaks votes, like a Bleedin' Pad.


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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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EmiLoca - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Delightfully revolting. How DID this get through the censors? I hope everyone who reads this will be able to summon their sick sense of humor and appreciate your piece. Otherwise, I fear that you will be flamed to death faster than a grasshopper marinated in kerosene.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
I think the censorship sailed off into the stormy seas. Oh come on, what's not funny about making up with an exumed corpse? Mmm...marinated.
M-Dawg - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
i thought the cat part was mean and didn't need to be put in it but i liked the abortion part
MrMacphisto - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
This was great, but... were you using a thesaurus when you wrote this? LOL
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - May 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks M-Dawg and MrMacphisto! Sorry, but the cat would still have seven more gruesome deaths to go before you get worried about animal cruelty. No thesaurus, just sitting there running through the alphabet in my head going 'what rhymes with autograph? Bortograph, caortograph, dortograph...'
Joelle - September 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
(Gross) Well if you say so, I guess you are, mate! LOL! ;-)
Agrimorfee - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
(Gross) Worth a commentary, Luke. This one is far out of left field from your usual work. Not saying that it's a bad song, but it's just weird. Reads like Eminem after he had taken some REALLY BAD BROWN ACID. 544
Know 1... - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't even get some parts, okey most of the whole damn thing, but to counterbalance the oneguyayting that this will most probably get I will honor it with the absolutely sickest joke I know:

There was a zoodophile, a pedophile, a sadist, a necrophiliac and a lower of extreme situations that were stranded on a deserted island.
If only we had a cat, said the zoodophile.
Or a kitten, said the pedophile.
Then we could kick it around, said the sadist.
And rip its head off, said the necrophiliac.
Then they all looked at the lover of extreme situations to see if he had anything to add…
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - September 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I only chose this for the comp due to its name, and I assumed that it was the grossest one I had. However, in retrospect it was written in my youthful stage of Feminine/Eminem rhyming where I thought I was really smart for rhyming every fricking word in each sentence regardless of whether it made sense. 'Luke Yourself' is a prime example, and mysteriously not listed on my 'Parody Author' credits so you'll have to go huntin' for it!

Thanks for comments all, and that joke confused me with the typo 'a lower of extreme situations'.
Jeff Reuben - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Okay, that was sufficiently disgusting =)
Paul Robinson - September 30, 2004 - Report this comment
(Gross-out contest) Gross enough, Luke. DKTOS on the original.
Claude Prez - October 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Some killer rhyming as always, and it's good to know someone else uses that alphabet-rhyming method. And yes, very gross.
AMIRIGHT GROSSEST PARODY CONTEST - SILVER MEDAL - October 03, 2004 - Report this comment;topic=3821.0;id=1771;image

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