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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Stand My Hair Ties, You See"

Original Song Title:

"Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See"

Original Performer:

Busta Rhymes

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Stand My Hair Ties, You See"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

I can't remember if I've said this or not, but I have fairly long hair. I'm perfectly fine with this, especially cause I'm too slack to book a haircut. However, that's not to say there are aspects of long hair that can make me reconsider...
Ah yeah, this blows
Gets on my nerves a touch, you should know (this blows)
Bloody sucks (uh, what)
Not kiddin' (c'mon, what), it's shit
Haha, hear me out

The first thing you'll be sayin' "Why you complainin', bro?" (uh)
You see, it's my long hippie hair that really blows (what)
The length of it's alright, colour ain't what's stupid, no (ha)
Doesn't stick right up like a reject from Yu-Gi-Oh (uh)
No, what gets me so irate, right pissed off, mad and moody, yo (uh)
Is when I dare try to group it, so damn useless, bro (what)
Ev'ry hair tie that I try is always puny, yo (ha)
Twist it round twice, but that's too loose, you know (uh)
Can't go for a three-fer, it can't make that loop, it blows (yeah)
Which means that any tiny move makes it slightly more loose and so (whoo)
Have to fix it ev'ry ten minutes, it's shitty, yo (huh?)
At the worst time, see, wouldn't wanna be me, no (man)
I can see your right hand goin' up, spit it out, bro (yeah)
"That's it? That seems so petty" Not wrong, no (you ain't wrong)
But your hair's really short, no real point of ref'rence, so (uh)
Don't say you know what's wrong all with the words I'm sayin', dope (you prat)

If you've got hair that's real long just like me
You'll agree with what's so wrong with these (uh, c'mon)
Cause I can't stand my hair ties, you see (friggin' sucks, uh)
Won't work right at all, it makes me peeved (wow, man, uh)
If your hair reaches your buttocks like me (this blows)
Then you'll see twitched eye to eye with me (c'mon)
I just can't stand my hair ties, you see (friggin' sucks)
They're plain shite, not worth the ten-pack, geez (yeah, here we go, uh)

And I haven't even started, believe what I say, bud (what)
Go through a bunch of these things a month, cause they kinda suck (uh)
The rubber band that's inside of 'em always seems to bust (what)
Snap right when I wanna use 'em, it makes me furious (pissed right off)
Swear a bunch, then when I move on to the next one (uh)
It breaks like a snitch from interrogation (what)
I'm ragin', can't blame the breakin' on my rage, bud (oh)
Cause they're cheaper than dirt, only payin' 'bout ten bucks (ah)
That also means they get looser with each tie, it sucks (what)
At first, I was happy, cause recall the lines above (yeah)?
The new looseness means that the third loop around's happenin', but (uh)
Overtime it gets so bad that it just can't hold for crud (what)
All of this complainin's so far focused on the "on" (what)
But there's lots of problems takin' the things off (ah)
Always grab hold of a few hairs to drag 'em along (uh)
Not like short-hair pullin', but the pain's still like a shot (poor head)
And recall I said I always take it off (what)
To adjust looseness? Well, I'm sure that you can guess what (go 'head)
I'm in constant agony from pullin' hairs off (yah)
So many problems, you say "Why not just cut your locks?" (hah)
No shit, there's a trick I've not thought of (yah)
Sarcasm, of course, cause I will never shave it off (what)
Neither can I wear it down, that drips hair in my food a lot (uh)
And who ever heard of high-end ties? Ain't a thing, wish it was (uh)

Whether ponytails or braidin', it seems (it's crap, it's so crap-c-crap, crap) (c'mon)
That I'll be in pain for a while, geez (crap, crap, c-c-crap-c-crap, crap) (uh)
Cause I can't stand my hair ties, you see (it's crap)
So I'm always in a state of seethe (what)
Could wear pigtails or a topknot, oh please
None will ease the pain that I receive (uh, c'mon)
I just can't stand my hair ties, you see (this blows)
Piece of crap, that's all they are, I'm peeved (so shit, real shit)
Even after combin', they just hate me (shit, that's all that it is)

Anyone know why the title of the song isn't "Put All Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See", seeing as that's what Busta Buss actually says in the chorus?

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michael marek - May 20, 2022 - Report this comment
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