You want meds with no prescription
This guy will help you get that spark
Most docs say, “No”
Cause it’s dangerous
Dr. Nick’s creepy
You’ll get… Drugs

He declares… “Hi Everybody!”
Shoves a syringe in your mouth
No college grad his work is shoddy
Wish “The Simpsons” were like “House”

You’ve got hives…
Take a drive to Doc Hibbert
More competent you hope
Although the man chuckles more

Doctor Nick is so friggen shady
You’re a ghost if you’re doomed to go there
He messed up and made you a lady

Injects himself with anesthetic
Before he gives his patients shots
He works for cheap and by the hour
So it is worth that crackpot

Got degree
From a free online health course
Now when he sees blood he’ll groan
And he’ll pass out on the floor

Doctor Nick’s office is so dirty
You’ll find toast and some ragged arm hair
Go and quickly get a maid working

IVs run dry?
He’ll shove in a pecan pie
Health scares aren’t fun
Unless it’s Doctor Nick then
Laughs burst out when veins spout
Until that vein... Is mine

Under gas he goes unconscious
I'm not contagious I'll go home
This guy’s a dope
So I say D’Oh!
Where’s Dr. Hibbert?

Doctor Nick is a freaking loony
Here’s my roast: He don’t know healthcare
Needs a kick-start his brain is puny