Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Two Teeth"

Original Song Title:

"One Week"

Original Performer:

Barenaked Ladies

Parody Song Title:

"Two Teeth"

Parody Written by:

The Invincible

The Lyrics

This is my first full parody. Let me know what you think.
I've got two teeth that are hurting me
Maybe I should lay off all the candy
And then I called Dr. G
"Don't have an appointment, this is an emergency"
And soon I was in my car
His office is two miles away, and that ain't too far
My insurance will cover me
No need for lawsuits, Dr. G is good at dentistry

Had to go and see the dentist, and I was so pissed
Should watch my dental health, I'm sixteen
Try to sit back and relax, although the TV's white-and-black
It has 3 channels, "Highlights For Kids" ain't a real 'zine
Watching tadpoles in a fish tank, the way my breath stank
It made me realize I need help
On the PA is Muzak, and I want to yak
Instrumental music's worth zelch
Don't use mouthwash, don't try to floss
And when my mouth is full of moss
I buy some toothpaste that's irregular in flavor
I'm like an ape, like when I scrape
Teeth in bad shape with a big gape
Right in the center, should be wearing my retainer
I like my sugar, but later I do not brush my teeth
And I don't keep a record of what I eat
I have a problem and I think it might be medical
Teeth are in pain, Novacaine, it's medicinal
I have a tendency to eat all things that are sweet
Maybe that's the reason why my teeth hurt

It's been three days since I brushed my teeth
Probably longer since I had any healthy eats
Two hours I've been sitting here
For all that they care, it might be a year
But then I hear the receptionist
Say "You can go in there now and see the dentist"
So then I am in the seat
When I was all set this is what Dr. G said to me

Burgers and hot dogs and fresh fried chicken
Brush thrice a day or your teeth start stickin'
Now the X-ray, turn the lights on, and radiation
But it will not cause any cancer
Hold up one minute got a phone call, what's that on my wall?
It is my autograph from Gilligan
Now here's the flouride, bite on this foam, and soon you'll be home
And can you start brushing your teeth again
Gotta check the back you got some plaque
A cavity, a hole that's black
So then I guess I got a little more work to do
I start my drill so then I will
Begin to drill, here it goes, "Whirr"
Now I fill it, oops I forgot to gas you
Now you are finished I bet you want a toothbrush
What you think, green or pink, I'm in a rush
Gotta catch a plane, my vacation will start soon
Need to go quick, almost six, in the afternoon
Keep your mouth clean and you will not have to see me
I'll call you back in another two months

It's been three weeks since my cavity
It doesn't hurt as much, I know it should be
And then I got a dentist bill
And said, "how can I pay this" and I do not think I will
But I'm bound by federal law
And then I feel a sharp pain way down in my jaw
That quack he did nothing for me
I'll sue his business and use the cash to buy some new teeth

Sue his business and use the cash to buy some new teeth
Sue his business and use the cash to buy some new teeth
This time I'll care and keep them really shiny....

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   3
 5   13

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
nice're brave for taking this song on
Paul Wooten - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Very nice. Helluve hard song to do. Grab some 5's
Aaron Dodson - February 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Good song, but is it a spinoff of my One Week (Since The Dentist Drilled Me)? Here's the URL: Your's is better, but still...
The Invincible - February 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you all very much for the good reviews. It is good to know that my work can be accepted by the true professionals. As for Aaron's comment, I read your parody. It was very good, but at the advice of my lawyers, I stand by my statement that I had no prior knowledge as to the existence of your parody while I was writing my own. Again, thank you for the good reviews. I appreciate it, and I will most likely be back with something else in the future.
Aaron Dodson - February 22, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok. I didn't think you had copied it, but I was wondering a bit. Like I said, yours is better. Hope to see you around some more!
Charlie Decker - March 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Thumbs up...I've been trying to think of a way to approach this song forever. It's one of my favorites, but it's really tough to do. So all 5s here.
Phil Nelson - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Quite good, very hard song to parody.
Rick D - October 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Very incisive
Agrimorfee - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) This parody has teeth!
John Lomain - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Very well done.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - October 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Reminds me of a joke I was addicted to when I was about 3.

What time are you going to the dentist?
Tooth hurty.

Oh me. Anyhoo, a great effort here and that's the tooth. The pacing of the original song is dental as anything and you really sunk your teeth into it, didn't chew? 455
Paul Robinson - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC "T") Oooh, Invincible - this is the ONE Barenaked Ladies song I AM familiar with. At first, I didn't realize it was THAT one, but the light went on partways through it and so I went back to the start and tried to remember just how this OS goes - I remember it pretty well and it IS a tough number to work with. I like this parody, it's fun and the story-line fits well with the OS' frantically racing pace. I flossed enough to scrape up 3 plaquelets of "5's" for you here.
Guy - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS - Couldn't quite get my teeth into this one but it read well and from the other comments I'd say you done well.
Arwen - October 19, 2004 - Report this comment
ABCs...this has to be one of the hardest songs to parody! I totally give props for spite of the fact that nothing regarding dental work is funny...; ) 5s...
Jared - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great job here. What did Howard Dean say at his dentist's appointment? YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Jeff Reuben - October 20, 2004 - Report this comment
Wow...very good job on your first parody.
Peregrin - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
Yep, good job with a hard song!
John Moschitta - October 21, 2004 - Report this comment
I could sing it.
Johnny D - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Intricate, detailed, very intelligently constructed!
Meriadoc - October 22, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good job with an obviously hard song. Story line was a bit schizy, but then so it the OS... :-)
2nz - October 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Hats off to the work you put into a difficult song. Some nice rhymes in there.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 918