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Song Parodies -> "The Oculorum"

Original Song Title:

"On the Road Again"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"The Oculorum"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Thomas Jefferson was a strange guy. He was into science, architecture, archeology, DIY projects, cartography, and more. But on the downside, he was a Freemason Satanist who owned slaves, wrote an Unholy Bible, and practiced dark magic. This parody concerns some of the rumors of his "Wandering Eyes", a group of spies he retained from the occult societies. I also mention his supposed secret underground treasure house that no one has ever found!
The Oculorum
The "Wandering Eyes" of T. Jefferson
A bright peacock feather would Identify them
Carried out Jefferson's nefarious plans

The Oculorum
Guardians of his hidden mansion
Filled with large treasure beyond comprehension
Carried out Jefferson's nefarious plans

The Oculorum
Freemason believers of his Bible- Unholy
Jesus just a man
Practiced dark magic in the worst of ways
Innocents were slain, with only TJ to blame

The "Wandering Eyes" of T. Jefferson
A bright peacock feather would Identify them
Carried out Jefferson's nefarious plans

WTF ever happened to them???
Note to Patrick: these men carried custom .46 caliber pistols operating off armed air gun principles. Jefferson, as you know, received 2 Austrian Girandoni air assault rifles (via Turkey) that could fire 22 rounds in a minute! He gave one to the Lewis & Clark expedition. Jefferson ordered custom pistol versions of them for his men! Jefferson also had his cylinder cypher. I might do that one later...

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 5   9

User Comments

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Patrick - November 10, 2016 - Report this comment
Several years ago the fellow from Beeman's brought the original Lewis & Clark Girandoni air rifle to a Kansas City gun show. Actually got to touch it. He also had a working reproduction that drew a lot of comment. After all these years no one can make a copy of the Girandoni at anything like an affordable price. That would be the ultimate fun gun. What credence do you give to the Sally Hemmings rumours? My opinion is that he was a man and she was a woman, and that "trumps" considerations of race, power, and politics.
Rob Arndt - November 10, 2016 - Report this comment
I honestly have no view on that one, Patrick. Jefferson was a very complex man. I was amazed by the stories of his creativeness and his concepts for advanced machinery. I read somewhere where he tried to divide the US up into Satanic lines and that he favored the Devil's Cube. His Unholy Bible and practicing dark magic threw me off. Granted, most of the Founding Fathers were Freemasons... but his subdivision was most Satanic and he knew it.
Rob Arndt - November 10, 2016 - Report this comment
Regarding the Girandoni... very cool firearms oddity. The ability to fire 22 shots in a row was impressive for the time and no powder plume to affect sighting plus no climb nor excessive vibration. But afterwards it took 1500 manuel pumps to build up the air stock!!!

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