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Song Parodies -> "Here Comes the Yasen"

Original Song Title:

"On the Road Again"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Here Comes the Yasen"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The Yasen (Ash Tree) is the newest Russian attack sub, the first of which became operational this year. It is a 4th Gen SSN design originally started way back in the late 1970s for projected 1985 IOC but got delayed and switched design bureaus which meant that it was not laid-down until 1993 and launched until 2010 (Project 885). The Yasen is meant to replace the Cold War Akula and Oscar-class subs with a new 13,800 ton vessel with a compact nuclear reactor with core life lasting 25-30 years projected. It uses low-mag steel and has a crew of 90 men (32 Officers). Speed of 35 knots, 10 torpedo tubes, and loaded with 2 types of missiles- nuke-tipped strategic CMs and Anti-Shipping ASCMs, with provision for mine-laying as well. It features a brand-new bow spherical radar array plus flank arrays and a towed array. Due to the spherical array the 8 forward torpedo tubes are slanted, with 2x rear. Depth: 600m. Range: Unlimited (which is a myth as all subs of any type must come up to be replenished with food and other supplies or until the scrubbers need replacing)! The first sub, the Severodvinsk is commissioned while two more subs are being worked on- the Kazan and the Novosibirsk due in 2014 and 2018. A total of between 12-16 are planned but cost $1.6 Billion each, so the number will actually be lower and there's also funding needed for the new Russian SSBN.
Here comes the Yasen
New Russian 4th Gen Attack SSN
Loaded with torps, nuke-tipped and ASCMs
$1.6 Billion each and 11 more are planned

Here comes the Yasen
14,000 tons with 90 men
Low-mag steel and spherical radar to scan
$1.6 Billion each and 11 more are planned

Here comes the Yasen
Replacing old Cold War subs for their new Navy
At slow production
Sub is loaded with missiles and three arrays
Oft-delayed, but has world attention

New Russian 4th Gen Attack SSN
Loaded with torps, nuke-tipped and ASCMs
$1.6 Billion each and 11 more are planned

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 8

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