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Song Parodies -> "Gem Thief Steals Millions"

Original Song Title:

"On the Road Again"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"Gem Thief Steals Millions"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

My 2075th parody! The Carlton Int. Hotel in Cannes was recently robbed of $136 million in precious gems, the thief pulling off the heist in about 1 minute of carefully planned and executed robbery. He entered from the outside terrace, picking the lock, got to the ground floor, robbed by gunpoint, and exited a side door that led to another street... and vanished w/o a clue. The Leviev display is owned by an Israeli Billionaire but the event had just 3 private security guards and hotel staff. The initial damage was estimated at $53 million but the true value was $136 million, making it the largest jewel heist in modern times. The villain has been dubbed the "Pink Panther." Go figure...
Gem thief steals millions
From Carlton International at Cannes
Stole precious gems worth $136 million
Heist made by claimed “Pink Panther” villain

Gem thief steals millions
Started with some side window action
Robbed the display with a gun but not patrons
Heist made by claimed “Pink Panther” villain

Gem thief steals millions
Took about a minute, then he sped on his way
Case and box of gems
Leviev event had private security
Flawed that way, so hard to comprehend

From Carlton International at Cannes
Stole precious gems worth $136 million
Heist made by claimed “Pink Panther” villain

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   8

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Rob Arndt - July 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Amusing... disgruntled vet with false S/N in black face! Hint: most parodies on AiR deal with current events from the news like- Snowden, Wiener, Obama scandals, Eurozone Crisis, Egyptian rioting/Morsi, the Pali-Israeli peace talks disasters, the Royal Heir George Alexander Louis, The Zimmerman trial results and racism in America, Flight 214 down, the 787 Dreamliner battery problem, the F-35 bugs, the wars in Afghanistan and worldwide, N Korean missile tests, Iran nuke proliferation, terrorism (foreign and domestic like the Boston bombings), celebrity deaths, and so on... ad nauseum. And most parodies here are far from gut-busting hilarity or even funny at all. Most are sarcastic, witty, or artistically stylized to describe mundane daily life... and of course the ever popular toilet humor and masked sex-past-the-censor parodies. I have my hits and my following. And if you really don't like my parodies, then WHY on earth click them unless you like to see your name in print as Joe-Commentator??? Go to a NG or forum for that. Btw, read all 2075 of my parodies? Didn't think so. Now drink your rum and Coke and return to smoking skunk bud...
Patrick - July 31, 2013 - Report this comment
There is a never-ending stream of subject matter on the evening news. Anthony Wiener alone could fill a day's quota. The French jewel thief was carrying a pistol, or at least something that looked like one. I wonder if security guards in France are allowed to carry firearms.
Johnson - July 31, 2013 - Report this comment
haven't seen this sight in awhile, but now it's all vets and one bombers, directed by some reactionary who can't keep from talking about himself and his big guns. such an impotent, boring read.
Ann H - July 31, 2013 - Report this comment
Seems quite short here I'd say.
Patrick - August 01, 2013 - Report this comment
I have lived in and around "da hood". I never heard a single "bro" use the term "logical dissonance".

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