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Song Parodies -> "AF Short of Men"

Original Song Title:

"On the Road Again"

Original Performer:

Willie Nelson

Parody Song Title:

"AF Short of Men"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

The USAF is short 200+ fighter pilots right now (153 diverted over to drone duty) and is losing many pilots to civilian aviation jobs that pay so much more. As it is, it takes $6 million to train a single fighter pilot and then the pay is not really that great after several years- equivalent to a topped-out clerk in a big box store!!! So, the USAF is offering higher starting pay and bonuses per year for up to 11 years. If the program does not succeed the USAF will be short 700+ fighter pilots by 2021 est. That doesn't take into account the IOC of the F-35 and probably the end of production for the worn-out F-16. The F-22 was supposed to fill-in the gap but was halted as a $309 per copy POS. The F-35 is also delayed severely and its costs have risen too. The plane is plagued by system and electrical failures and problems with the slaved fighter pilot helmet system too! Bad news for the AF b/c drone jockeys will be more in demand as their production escalates... unless of course they open those jobs to civilian pilots which is not possible due to the military nature of the job. So the AF remains desperate...
AF short of men
Fighter pilots are in demand again
$25k bonus per year to extend
“Nintendo Jockey” duty took most of them

AF short of men
There’s just too much airspace to defend
Cost of training per is now at $6 million
“Nintendo Jockey” duty took most of them

AF short of men
3000 fighters need to be piloted some way
Without loss of men
Pilots leaving for better civilian pay
And safety, causing many problems

Fighter pilots are in demand again
$25k bonus per year to extend
“Nintendo Jockey” duty took most of them

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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.2
Overall Rating: 3.2

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   4

User Comments

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Patrick - July 23, 2013 - Report this comment
I heard that the Nintendo Commandos are wearing USAF wings, even though they never leave the ground. That apparently makes real pilots unhappy. Shudder to think that if a pilot today hits the eject button, the equivalent of the Kansas City school budget or the whole municipal budget of KCK goes into a fireball.
Johnny - July 28, 2013 - Report this comment
Highlarious Rob, military humor just kills me

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