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Song Parodies -> "Talking Bostonian"

Original Song Title:

"Walk Like An Egyptian"

Original Performer:

The Bangles

Parody Song Title:

"Talking Bostonian"

Parody Written by:

Invisible Boy

The Lyrics

I have Tommy Turtle to thank for this idear. And, as a tribute to our resident annotator...I've included lots of footnotes.
Talking Bostonian

All the young townies in QUINzee [1]
They make packie [2] runs for theah beeahz
When the kegga’s done (go man go)
They cross the rivah to Reveah [3]

There are Spanish chicks by the Wall [4]
Those Latina hoodsies [5] have no feeah
So frickin’ hot (like J. Lo)
But, how to meet them…I’ve no idear

Lights of blue in my reahview [6]…such a
Talking Bostonian

I remember back in High School
I wore sneakers [8] and tight dungarees [9]
When I had to pee (go man go)
Then up in the basement [10] you’d find me

Heading West one day…on Route 2
A Volvo with a Newtonian [11]
At the rotary [12] (slow dude slow !)
I floored it like a Bostonian

City bans [13] while the local fans scream
Talking Bostonian

When the tourists say “paahk your cah
In Hahvid yaahd,”…I think instead
We should all agree (yo man yo)
That they are the real “Chowdahheads”

Sometimes people call drivers here
Aggressive and so impolite
There’s no mystery (no folks no)
Just “bang a left” then “hook a right”[15]

If you want a real pissa[16] time
Then “Down the Cape”[17] may be your fayah
But in old P-town [18] (no boys no !)
Bang a huey and book outta theah [19]

Barney Frank sounding like Mel Blanc…only
Talking Bostonian
Talking Bostonian

(song fades to a rhythmic vamp and screeching guitar riff which reminds me of the 4 years I lived on Commonwealth Ave., at the top of Chestnut Hill Ave., where the Green Line turns sharply to the right…Outbound [21])


[1] Local pronunciation for Quincy…as in John Quinzee Adams.

[2] A package store. A store selling sealed bottles or other containers of alcoholic beverages that may only be consumed off the premises and must be sealed in a package when carried out.

[3] Revere as in Paul Revere. To get to Revere you have to take the bridge over the
Mystic River. Expect to find lots of Italians and more recently Hispanics.

[4] “The Wall” at Revere Beach is the seawall along the boulevard. It’s a well known place to hang-out.

[5] A “hoodsie” is a young girl. The Hood dairy company produced little 3 oz. cups of ice-cream to be sold as snacks. The name was applied to young girls who are small and sweet.

[6] A rear view mirror in a car is called a “reahview”.

[7] A “bazo” (long “a”) originally meant a drunk. It came from prohibition and described someone who drank bay aftershave with a high alcohol content. It's been expanded to include anyone dirty or unsavory. Used this way…”I drank too many beeahz and I threw-up on my girlfriend. I’m such a bazo”.

[8] Tennis shoes.

[9] Blue jeans.

[10] All rest rooms in a public school are called “the basement” no matter what floor they are on. (Interestingly, my basement is called “the cellar”)

[11] Newton is a posh suburb of Boston.

[12] A rotary is a place where 4-5 main roads converge/diverge at a circle, there are no traffic lights, everybody/nobody has the right-of-way, and it’s every man/woman for themselves.

[13] “Banned in Boston” is a phrase we have all heard. Here’s the Wikipedia link if you want to know more. Banned in Boston.

[14] Theo Epstein is the General Manager of the Red Sox.

[15] Left-hand turns are banged. Right-hand turns are hooked. You cant “bang a right”.

[16] Something that is good is “pissa”. (Something that is really good is “wicked pissa”)

[17] When traveling to Cape Cod you are always going “Down The Cape”. You are not “taking a trip to Cape Cod”. It doesn’t matter what direction you are coming from.

[18] It’s illegal to call Provincetown “Provincetown”.

[19] Execute a U-turn and leave quickly.

[20] Hey !!! His IS gay. No harm no foul.

[21] The MBTA is the public transportation system in Boston. The different routes are color coded…i.e. “Red Line”, “Green Line” etc. All subway cars heading away from downtown are “outbound”. All subway cars heading toward downtown are “inbound”. It doesn’t matter what direction the subway car is actually heading.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   10

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Fives fo dat Bawstun education!!!
alvin - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
great concept....wonderfully executed
Michael Pacholek - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I like Boston. I like everything about it -- except its sports teams. I noticed that you've noticed that it's impossible (in fact, illegal) to park your car in Harvard Yard. This would have been even funnier if you'd included the name of Mayor Mumbles: "Mayah, Mayah, Tommy Menino!" But come October, the way to talk Bostonian will once again, as it was meant to be, be, "I cahn't believe them fawkin' Yankees won the Series again!"
McKludge - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Spent a fun weekend in Boston back in '84 visiting my sister at Camp Emerson, I mean Emerson College. Took the T from Logan Ayahpoort and ate at the Paramount (Cheebugger Cheebugger!).

A wicked pissa awesome parody.
Amanda - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
It's good, but it could use a mention of the pronunciation of the word "horrible". Here in MA I hear it all the time!
Tim Hall - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Brilliant! Absolutley brilliant!
Christie Marie M - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I would love to visit Boston someday! Well executed parody, IB! I also loved it when you wrote a Tommy Turtle style parody! Footnotes give me info about life in Boston! Excellent work! 5's!
AFW - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
I'm tawkin' fy-uves, heah...555
The Man Who Never Returned - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Love learning new languages --- presently attempting to learn British English, quite the challenge... now learning Beantownish!

[5] Loved the metaphorical etymology of "hoodsie"! Here's to the City of Boston!

[8] [9] Sneakers and dungarees are known *waay* outside of The Home of the Bean and The Cod. There was even a Robert Redford movie called "Sneakers".

[12] "Traffic circles", as they are sometimes called outside Where The Cabots Speak Only To Lodges, are quite common, and in some places, drivers are polite and traffic flows smoothly.

[13] The surest way to have your novel or movie become a smash hit is to have it banned Where The Lodges Speak Only To God.

[15] In other areas, you "hang a Roscoe" or "hang a Louie" (r/l).

[18] Visited P-town once.... and as for "(no boys no!) " isn't it actually "all boys, all"? lol (got your original meaning, though). Close Encounter Of The Third Kind with a whale: swam right up to the boat, under it, and up the other side. Awesome! (all other passengers busy bazo-ing, not from rum, but from seasickness. Turtle, of course, accustomed to the motion of the ocean.)

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery". Thanks for the plug, IB, and for adopting a form without which this parody just doesn't work. .... expands your range so much when you can use obscure or arcane terminology in the parody, and explain in footnotes, doesn't it? :-) 555+++, not just for ref to self, but for a very witty, well-crafted, well-elucidated work.

Now, when the heck am I gonna get off of this freakin' subway?
Invisible Boy - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone

Thanks alvin and Mark
Michael...I'm glad to hear you know about "Mayor Mumbles"...he's a joke. As far as the Sox/Yankees thing...this year you may be right.
McKludge...I remember you mentioned Emerson when I met you. As we all know...Jay Leno went to school there
Amanda..."I'm gonna take you by the hand, and make you understand...we're neighbors".
Tim...Christie...AFW...thank you.

TT...Yes, this was a parody of, well, you. Thanks for getting the joke and playing along.
The "obscure or arcane terminology in the parody, and explain in footnotes" thing has never been my style. And, why should it be when you own this style so well?
BTW...The MBTA now has a "pass card" you can use instead of cash to ride the train. It's called the "Charlie Card".
Brandon Roche - June 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Very nice! As a New Englander I appreciate the Boston humor and I kinda wish I had the eastern Mass/RI accent (I'm from Conneticut) It's wicked pissah!
The Kingston Trio - June 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Thank goodness they didn't have that card back then, or Charlie would have gotten off of that train -- and our song goes "down the tube", so to speak.

btw.... The little ditty about Boston that was interspersed in the comments didn't slip under the radar, did it?
Stan Hall - November 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Wicked funny and executed, IB. 555

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