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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Be 55!"

Original Song Title:

"I Can't Drive 55!"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sammy Hagar

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Be 55!"

Parody Written by:

William Bilbro

The Lyrics

Just had a birthday. Cryin' in my beer.
I Can't Be Fifty-Five

Not really livin'; not ready to die.
I'm getting so old I can't see the sky.
I'll be fifty-five in a week and a half
Yet another birthday makes me laugh.

So gimme a pill for my achin' knee
Put me on Social Insecurity
Sign me up for double-A R P
I can't be 55!

I got a big-ass Buick that I got for a steal,
But I can't see over the steering wheel.
Now I know there's a brake pedal on the floor
But I can't remember just what it's for.

So gimme a pill for my achin' knee
Put me on Social Insecurity
Sign me up for double-A R P
I can't be 55!

Well they say when I drive I travel much too slow
Now where in the hell did my glasses go?
I don't see no signals, don't see no signs.
And sometimes I drive in between the lines.

So gimme a pill for my achin' knee
Put me on Social Insecurity
Sign me up for double-A R P
I can't be 55

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
You can be 55, and you can be 555ed.
Airfarcewon - April 20, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job...well written...but technically..you're pushin' the envelope, here..at 55 today, you're still a spring chicken !
Tammi Gladwin - April 20, 2022 - Report this comment
Agree with previous comment. 55 isn't elderly!
monstermaster13 - April 22, 2022 - Report this comment
50 and 60 and 70 aren't elderly, that's dilf/milf age.
Phil Alexander - April 25, 2022 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but as a 55-year-old I resemble this song :-)

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