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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Do Number 2"
Original Song Title:
"I Can't Drive 55"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Sammy Hagar
Parody Song Title:
"I Can't Do Number 2"
Parody Written by:
Shiek Of The Mutilated
The Lyrics
Yes, another song about using the toilet. So if you have weak constitutions, viewer discretion advised. Otherwise, it'll make you laugh, I hope.
One squeeze from my lays, all smelly with gas!
Well, there's too much pushin', I can't crap, no!
So I sit at home on this porcelain can
My hole is black as night, somebody blow me a fan!
Chorus I:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2.
So my proctologist answered my house call
I said, "My stool's makin' my anus raw."
He said, "I'll stick your a** with a liter of Fleet.
It might sting a little. Do you feel the heat?"
I said, "Heeey! Oy Vay!"
Chorus II:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
Oh, no!
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
Ungh! (solo)
When my log's that big, it hurts my derriere
And I can't even get the turd balls from my hair.
What took me just 5 minutes, now takes all day
Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!
Chorus:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
No, no, no, I can't do...(I can't do Number 2)!
I can't do...I can't do Number 2!
I can't do Number 2!
(fade)
Well, there's too much pushin', I can't crap, no!
So I sit at home on this porcelain can
My hole is black as night, somebody blow me a fan!
Chorus I:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2.
So my proctologist answered my house call
I said, "My stool's makin' my anus raw."
He said, "I'll stick your a** with a liter of Fleet.
It might sting a little. Do you feel the heat?"
I said, "Heeey! Oy Vay!"
Chorus II:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
Oh, no!
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
Ungh! (solo)
When my log's that big, it hurts my derriere
And I can't even get the turd balls from my hair.
What took me just 5 minutes, now takes all day
Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!
Chorus:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
No, no, no, I can't do...(I can't do Number 2)!
I can't do...I can't do Number 2!
I can't do Number 2!
(fade)
Huh, huh, you said bottom!---Beavis and Butthead
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User Comments
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Try eating more fruit and drink plenty of fluids. That should do it.
Yeah, that should help when you can't get out of the bathroom. ;)
That was funny.
Totally funny! "What took just five minutes now takes all day. Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!" are the best two lines of the whole song. LMAO! You know you have a SERIOUS case of constipation if it takes you 16 hours to pass a filet. 555
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