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Song Parodies -> "I Can't Do Number 2"

Original Song Title:

"I Can't Drive 55"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sammy Hagar

Parody Song Title:

"I Can't Do Number 2"

Parody Written by:

Shiek Of The Mutilated

The Lyrics

Yes, another song about using the toilet. So if you have weak constitutions, viewer discretion advised. Otherwise, it'll make you laugh, I hope.
One squeeze from my lays, all smelly with gas!
Well, there's too much pushin', I can't crap, no!
So I sit at home on this porcelain can
My hole is black as night, somebody blow me a fan!

Chorus I:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2.

So my proctologist answered my house call
I said, "My stool's makin' my anus raw."
He said, "I'll stick your a** with a liter of Fleet.
It might sting a little. Do you feel the heat?"
I said, "Heeey! Oy Vay!"

Chorus II:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!
Oh, no!

I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
I can't do---Number 2
Ungh! (solo)

When my log's that big, it hurts my derriere
And I can't even get the turd balls from my hair.
What took me just 5 minutes, now takes all day
Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!

Chorus:
Go on and give me some of that Ex-Lax Blue
Anusol and an enema, too
Milk of Magnesia, make me doo
I can't do---Number 2!

No, no, no, I can't do...(I can't do Number 2)!
I can't do...I can't do Number 2!
I can't do Number 2!

(fade)
Huh, huh, you said bottom!---Beavis and Butthead

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 1
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
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 5   6
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

2Eagle - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Try eating more fruit and drink plenty of fluids. That should do it.
Shiek Of The Mutilated - October 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Yeah, that should help when you can't get out of the bathroom. ;)
Claude Prez - October 17, 2004 - Report this comment
That was funny.
Brian - March 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Totally funny! "What took just five minutes now takes all day. Huh! It took me 16 hours to pass a filet!" are the best two lines of the whole song. LMAO! You know you have a SERIOUS case of constipation if it takes you 16 hours to pass a filet. 555

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