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Song Parodies -> "Shortest Way"

Original Song Title:

"Walk This Way"

Original Performer:

Run-DMC & Aerosmith

Parody Song Title:

"Shortest Way"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Shortcuts: not always the best option.
We've had to do a runner because our backup gunner
Had forgotten to load today
Swear it's always somethin' that keeps us low and slummin'
"I said sorry!" Said our names, dickface
Now, I'm no map reader, more a foot-down speeder
So hold on to your lunch now, kid
'Cause the guards are a-comin', once I get the engine gunnin'
We'll be headin' to our hidden digs real quick

Back wheels skiddin', may look really cool
But it's gonna leave a clue to the lair
So I'll put in a wiggle and a wriggle, quit the giggles
Always worked well in the past, so there
Count the stolen finances or check your pants
That you didn't leave your phone at the place
What I don't need is your stupid ass assumin' that I'm clueless
Wanna tell me 'bout the shortest way? Don't need it, dude

Shortest way? Not that way
Shortest way? Not that way (just stop it, dude)
Shortest way? Not that way
Shortest way? Not that way, you're not helpin', you twit

A-shut it

It's not easy to make tracks when you talk at me
With the words that I said I don't need
My plan for escapin' is to invoke "Lost 'em!"
And a shortcut won't be helpin' me
Because the ones you're usin' when you take the wheel are crazy
They're much longer than you would admit
Overfilled with danger, sure, as robbers, we're risk-takers
But there's limits I'm not gonna hit, you twit (dimwit)

Please stop reachin' for the wheel, you big tool
Let me speed 'til we lose the fuzz there
Come on, think for a little, not a silly children's riddle
Why I won't take your route to our lair
Cops can follow our tracks, it'd follow that
They would learn the shortcuts that we would take
Not all guards are as stupid as the doofus who's so clueless
That they insist on the shortest way, won't go there, dude

Shortest way? Not that way
Shortest way? Not that way (don't want it, dude)
Shortest way? Not that way
Shortest way? Not that way
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haow!
Ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Stop it (ow! Ow!)

Says something that it wasn't until this very moment that I realised that "dimwit" was short for "dimwitted" as in low on wits...I can English, I swear.

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Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

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