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Song Parodies -> "My Worst Enemy...So, Which One?"

Original Song Title:

"Public Enemy No. 1"

Original Performer:

Public Enemy

Parody Song Title:

"My Worst Enemy...So, Which One?"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.
Oh god, one of you lot
Kinda dealin' with some heavy machinery, you get what I'm sayin'?
Plus a lotta dark magic, you see
So what's up with the way you charged at me, you want a fight?
Alright, this is really a waste of time, because a fight with me ends with slayin'
You'll punch or start a-swingin' and yellin' "Villain, I'm your worst enemy", damn
Should've bet that that line would be comin', but geez, this is kinda completely awkward for me
I don't know who you are, look, the way to the top
To sieze the crown means I've murdered a lot of people, you know
Quite a lot, a whole lot

Well, stop all this runnin' in with the sword
I'd hate to have to cut down you right now, I'm bored
What I need from you right now
Is a neat explanation for your fierce brow
Did I stab your mum or dad? Help me
A tad confused because you simply assume that I keep
A mem'ry of foes so when their kids fight solo
I can recall where I stabbed them, no, no
I bring such doom to any and all
So remembrance for those with the gall
Ain't a thing, not that quickly
You ever forget the last time you peed?
Sim'lar situation, so I just need
A way to jog my brain's memory
Get that thing racin', might start placin'
All the pieces that are vacant
Put down that knife, aren't you eager to describe
The time I defiled the so-called life
Of your dearest mum? Or dad? Whichever schmuck?
You say you're my worst enemy, so which one (one), one (one)?
One (one), one (one)
One (one), one (one), one (one), one (one)
One, one, one, whoo-ha!

Come on, out with it, which fam'ly member
Did I burst in on and straight up dismember?
Did I take your pop and rip off his arms?
Or was it your aunt I sliced into parts?
Could be your cousin I ripped into ribbons
Askin' this of you cause you're not hintin'
Seems you're okay with sayin' "I will end all your slayin'!"
But a hint for who got chopped up? You're not sayin'
I will be reignin' for six decades if
You won't cough up what has got you all a-ragin'
Was it your poor wife who has no life?
Cause I guess I've no captains or more army types
I give the orders for folks to give more orders
And so your vengeance shows some real disorder
Should be goin' after Gen'ral Crux
Maybe Crax or Phlax, at names I do suck
That makes sense since your countenance
Drawin' suck a blank, I've got no sketch
To give up to the guards, that sucks
Again you claim you're my worst enemy, so which one (one)?
One (one), one (one), one (one)
One (one), one (one), one (one)
I don't know, you should know

So your whole family was blown to kingdom come?
Still don't get why I'm blamed for that
Cause I don't tap ev'ry damn friggin' teeny button, geez
I've got plannin' to work on, man
I may wish I could press the "send the bombs" buttons, but now
A new point has been found:
The families I've ended to be here in this place are to me
Like ants that I squoosh with my boot, who would presume
That I care where I brought doom?
I may sound like a jerk, but I'm the villain
That's the description
Be a pal for me, give a location
So I may go "That's that village there! Oh!"
Chance there's slim since this is now my globe
Renamed for me is how it's done
You say you're my worst enemy, so which one (one)?
One (one), one (one), one (one)
One (one), one (one), one (one)
One (one), one (one), one (one)

Hang on, you...
Nope, still nothin', that was me a-bluffin'
Hope you'd spill somethin' that would start my head chuggin'
I know it's buggin' you that I recall nothin'
Come on, just tell me why you're this close to a face punchin'
"I'm only your bloody son!" I knew you'd say somethin'
The more I acted flippant, the more you...wait, one thing:
If you're my bloody son, then what's with the "vengeance" thing?
Do you want to rule? Convinced I killed your mother?
This is why I never wanted a kid, cause this shit sucks
But my worst enemy? Still not one (one)
One (one), one (one), one (one)
One (one), one (one), one (one)
One (one), one (one), one (one)

Yeah, you're my son, man, but you won't really do
My nemesis needs more than that, you know what I'm sayin'?
'Fraid so, man, let me tell you a little somethin', man
The biological link is bullshit
It's just a little bare-bones, you know what I'm sayin'?
More than that, you know, I'm tryna let you down a bit
Go, my son, leave 'til you've got more prose to recite while you stab me
You've gotta let me know the reason you hate me
Besides "Hey, dad, you're real crazy!"
Farewell, bon voyage, I hope that you land safely
Multi-thousand mile drop below
A lot of pointy rocks below
Hope you prepared a chute or somethin', man

Blight: Who are you?!
Batman: ...You really wanna know?
Blight: Yes!
Batman: You killed my father.
Blight: ...Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down?!
Batman: Too bad. It's all you get.

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