Dig if you will the picture
Of a fumble too late in the game
The sweat off my eyebrow it blinds me
I can't imagine…
Coach is who I blame

Dream if you can a courtyard
A quintet of players in gloom
Fellow fans strike furious poses
Shaq and the Heat
Got swept up by Detroit's broom

How could you just leave us standing?
Losing this game was so rough (So rough)
Maybe we're just too demanding
Becoming just like our fathers, too tough
Maybe we're just like our brothers
They're never satisfied (they're never satisfied)
Why do we scream at officials
This is so pathetic
Grown men cry

My former best friend's a Cubs fan
Watched how he trembled inside
They once had the Central all locked up
Just so the Astros
Could up and turn the tide

There is no crying in baseball
Quit acting like a creampuff (little creampuff)
Now why did you start a bar brawl
Maybe your spouses have paid bail enough
Please understand it's just a game
You're not even involved
Why do we scream at officials
This is what it sounds like
Grown men cry

Emotional investment
As long as you know where it ends (you know where it ends)
Is not an ugly attachment (unhealthy feelings)
And can be shared by your buddies, best friends (your buddies, best friends)
Athletes don't want to know you (stay anonymous)
Too many to even try (so many freaks)
So please don't scream at officials (Why do you scream, why)
I don't want to hear it
Grown men cry

(followed by music, a hysterical Prince, and "Grown Men Cry" repeats)