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Song Parodies -> "Queasy Lover"

Original Song Title:

"Easy Lover"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Phil Collins

Parody Song Title:

"Queasy Lover"

Parody Written by:

Robert D. Arndt Jr.

The Lyrics

Guys, ever had a GF or wife that was once thin and beautiful and then ballooned up, wide hips, fat thighs, big butt, looks like her mom? If so, this one's for you!
(Chorus)
Queasy lover
He wants to leave you- do believe it
No other woman
But you let yourself go and he's not pleased
He's a queasy lover
He'll make love, but he regrets it
You're so disgusting
How did you become so damn obese?

She's the kind of girl you dreamt of
Dreamt of keeping hold of
She once ate lettuce
Had a size 3 dress
Used to mess around and floor screw
'50 Shades of Grey" you
Now just forget it
Chocolate cake- yes, she ate it!

No, you'll never change her, so beat it, just beat it
She's wearing sweats and still you can't believe it
Put on weight
Is fat as a cow

(Chorus)

[x2]
You want to help her, to Diet, at least try it
Get her to the gym, some exercise cycling
It's the only way
But she won't even go

He's a queasy lover (takes multiple showers)
He'll get a hold of your love handles (which is so gross)
She's a wife and mother
But she just eats and eats and eats (mostly sugary treats and sweets)
He's a queasy lover
He's in her **** but he doesn't feel it (even though he sees it)
Sex? Don't bother
No celibacy nor adultery (Needs divorce papers so that he can leave)
She's a pig!!!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   11
 10
 11
 

User Comments

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Jonathan - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
I would've given this a 544 but the mere fact that you parodied such awesomeness as this OS gives the overall rating a boost! I'm gonna have this OS stuck in my head for the rest of the day and for that I thank you! as for the parody while I do think there's more to a woman's beauty than her looks there's no denying this was well-written personally I prefer curvier women to many of the stick figures we see modelling today and would even prefer a "chunky" girl with a kind heart to a skinny but shallow b*tch (heck the "chunky" girl would be a closer match to my own figure anyway lol!) besides true beauty to me is measured by what's on the inside so if there are a few Hostess Zingers inside as well hey just all the more of a close match to me! lol! either way good parody/song choice Rob! 545
Rob Arndt - March 28, 2016 - Report this comment
Yeah, Phil Collins songs tend to stick in one's head! Btw, it's just a parody. I've known some "thick chics" in my life! Another variation could be "Sleazy Lover" if you wanted to do that one Jon!

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