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Song Parodies -> "Thins His Hair With Sprite®"

Original Song Title:

"In The Air Tonight"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Phil Collins

Parody Song Title:

"Thins His Hair With Sprite®"

Parody Written by:

Chris Caillouet

The Lyrics

My lyric goal here was simply to make ridiculous phonetic substitutions in TOS while preserving rhyme, rhythm and grammatical intergrity. So if it sounds bizarre and nonsensical, hooray! I do not wish to see Mr. Collins or other rodents decapitated or otherwise harmed (although one could argue he still deserves a good flogging for “Sussudio”).
Have you heard Phil Collins thins his hair with Sprite®? (What for?)
And he goes wading with this nomad he calls his wife (What for?)
When he’s sad he wads his underwear up tight (What for? What for?)

Now if they told you he’s a brownie
They would not say what brand
They know his face beyond England
But I don’t know who he knows in Siam

They saw his hair and they sawed off his head
They sawed it off and poked his eyes
But he still wore that fat grin, exactly like when
He’s scarfin’ a sack of fries

And I think that Phil Collins thins his hair with Sprite® (What for?)
Eviscerating hapless rodents with pointy knives (What for?)
Hear him squeal, uncomely in his sheer delight (What for?)
In advocating for the homeless in seedy dives (What for? What for?)

Oh, Miss December, Miss December, the jury
Hasn’t reached a verdict yet
It’s the worst time to pass time
For every debt

Albinos are breezin’ by your keep of violent pups
Rabid and drooly
Put a shirt on Fido, but the mange still shows
It’s a strange curiosity

I believe Phil Collins thins his hair with Sprite® (What for?)
And I’ve been paintin’ as he foments discord and strife (What for?)
He-men reelin’ in despair to fight (What for? What for?)
Gesticulatin’ with their helmets at wildlife (What for?)

Icon Phil is combing out his hair tonight (What for?)
And he’s been sniffin’ at his armpits like Barney Fife (What for?)
He shall peel a Bartlett pear, alright (What for? What for? What for?)
Why is he wasting all his money on pocketknives? (What for? What for?)

He’ll sleep in the comfy chair tonight (What for? What for? What for? What for?)
He could be tastin’ clover honey with garlic chives (What for? What for? What for?)
Copyright © 2015 by Chris Caillouet. All rights reserved.

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 1.5
How Funny: 1.5
Overall Rating: 1.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 3
 3
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   0
 0
 0
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jonathan - January 26, 2015 - Report this comment
not bad... not the best 3's I actually did something similar by attempting a nonsense parody here recently with a parody of Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" which despite my worst fears has actually been rated pretty positively! and as grateful as I am for that (and that is SUPER grateful! :)) I don't think I'll be writing one of those again anytime soon it's too far out of my comfort zone but maybe with practice you can churn out some hilarious nonsensical ditties here! :)
Chris Caillouet - January 27, 2015 - Report this comment
Jonathan, thanks again for the constructive criticism and your humble and honest feedback. I saw your "Talkin' Like John Travolta" and I'd say it works a lot better than this one because it has an organizing theme and cultural significance, whereas mine is far too arbitrary, with much rhyme but with no apparent reason. That's okay, I appreciate the comment and the vote. With regard to voting results on amiright in general, I've noticed a strong tendency for people to assign the same number for all three metrics, as you did here with your 3s, almost as though they are a single rating. While the sense of how funny something strikes someone and their overall feeling about it are inherently subjective and personal, pacing is an objective quality; I doubt there's much of anything on AIR with such horrible meter that it truly merits a 1 in that column. Why can't folks assert they don't like a piece but still give it the metric credit it deserves?

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