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Song Parodies -> "Mr. Clean (is Not My Lover)"

Original Song Title:

"Billie Jean"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Mr. Clean (is Not My Lover)"

Parody Written by:

Steve Bryant

The Lyrics

Be carfeful what you do, when the scent is lemon fresh, hey, hey!
Mr. Clean is Not My Lover
A parody of “Billie Jean”
New Lyrics by Steve Bryant

I guess that he was a closet queen,
With a head that gleamed,
The earring should have been my first clue,
He was less man than mouse.
I still used him to clean up the house.
He was less man than mouse.
I still used him to clean my house.

He told me that his name was Mr. Clean,
Gave my floor a sheen.
He came in yellow and sometimes green,
And he was less man than mouse.
I still used him to clean my house.

People always told me be careful what you use,
No harsh cleansers on Formica tops.
And mama always told me cleaning and pleasure never mesh.
Be careful what you do when the scent is lemon fresh, hey, hey!

Mr. Clean is not my lover,
The dude with no short wanted me for his spouse.
I just used him to clean my house.
He wanted me for his spouse,
I just used him to clean my house.

I could have used plain ammonia straight,
Didn’t need a date.
His bulging muscles, they looked so great.
But he was less man than mouse,
I still used him to clean up my house.

But it wasn’t true love,
I used a Playtex Living Glove.

He said he’d been on TV for years,
Tried to calm my fears.
He wouldn’t streak, always dried real clear,
And he was less man than mouse.
I still used him to clean my house.

People always told me be careful what you use,
No harsh cleansers on Formica tops.
And some of the generics they can smell of sweet perfume,
And leave a dulling film in each and every room, hey, hey.

Mr. Clean is not my lover,
The dude with no short wanted me for his spouse.
I still used him to clean my house.

(Guitar solo)

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Steve - You really cleaned up with this one! Don't worry...he has a long term "relationship" with Mr. Muscle! 5-5-5 ;D
Chance Gollnick - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
It's rare now to see a good mj parody so congrats. I know now mr. clean's not the one.
Bilbopooh - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
Ah, Mr. Clean... A true television icon! Great job!
Wild Child JIN - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
You sure "cleaned" house with this one Steve! As well as mopped the floor, LOL! :-D 5-5-5!
Matthias - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
This song parody was hilarious! About a fictional character who wants to get into your pants and you using him in order to just clean your house was a crazy original idea. I loved this one.
Mark Scotti - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) 'Stronger than dirt", Mr. Clean's gonna hurt! Hilarious!!
UnKnownVotress - August 17, 2010 - Report this comment
how about some '409' for that ~Bore oNine~ !
bobpiecheese - August 22, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Quite an original idea for sure. Maybe if some of the lines weren't repeated (particularly the "I just used him to clean my house" line) and the rest of the song was parodied (there's a fair bit after the guitar solo you missed) it could've been fantastic. As is, it's still pretty good, and worthy of 5's.
Agrimorfee - August 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Welcome to the monkeyhouse, Steve. You will probably notice Amiright style kinda dictates a bit less repitition of key lines or choruses. This I won't hold against you in this contest round. Very clever idea all around; I likke how you re-used the "sweet perfume" line for one thing.
Below Average Dave - August 24, 2010 - Report this comment
See Matthias' comment--despite repetition, it was a very funny parody--LOVED the idea
Rex - August 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) If cleanliness is next to godliness, how come Mr. Clean isn't a religious object? Funny idea.

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