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Song Parodies -> "Gay Pedophile"

Original Song Title:

"Smooth Criminal"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Michael Jackson

Parody Song Title:

"Gay Pedophile"

Parody Written by:

Silly Nelson Duncan

The Lyrics

I came up with the chorus to this parody a long time ago but I never had time to finish it. I did not want to make the parody as long or exactly the same as the original because it is a repeat overkill of the same lyrics. Note that the music in the "Alien Ant Farm" version of the original song are different and won't fit these lyrics.
He called his ranch Never-land;
He was the "Peter" in the pan, now,
Kids said he was fantastic,
Even though his face was plastic.
Asked them to stay the night,
why did the parents think it was right?
Then he locked them in the bedroom,
He got them drunk now, it was their doom.

Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?

Michael Jackson touched me.
Will I report that Michael touched me?
My mother said, "oh no!"
That he touched you – that molester Michael
Then she called an Attorney
Then the cop named Bernie
She said, "Michael took them in the bedroom"
He got them drunk now
It was their doom

Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
YOU'VE TOUCHED BY
YOU'VE BEEN RAPPED BY -
A GAY PEDOPHILE

So into courtroom they come,
It was Judgment day for the gloved one,
They proved mother was just after money,
So left to the Jury said, "Set him free"

Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
Michael Jackson touched me.
So, Michael Jackson touched me.
Why did you touch me, Michael?
YOU'VE TOUCHED BY
YOU'VE BEEN RAPPED BY -
A GAY PEDOPHILE

Michael touched me, oooow!
Drink the Jesus juice, Nooo!
Michael touched me, oooow!
Get under the covers, Nooo!

(Repeat over kill)

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
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 3
 
 2   0
 1
 1
 
 3   1
 0
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 4   1
 0
 0
 
 5   10
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 11
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Non-Fan - February 26, 2006 - Report this comment
Um, okay, most of what you say against Michael Jackson is probably true (though I'm not really in a position to know). Even so, don't you think this gag is getting a little worn? For that matter, Michael Jackson may be a danger to kids, but he's just one man (man? okay, so that's debatable). Not many parents are likely to allow their kids anywhere near him, either.

Why not lampoon somebody a little more trusted and numerous? I mean, we must have had several dozen teachers had up for messing around with their students this past year, and the UN sex-for-aid scandals involved kids as young as four. "Father" Mahoney in L.A. has escaped the fate of most of his fellow pedophile-apologist priests (so far) all because he's one of those renegade PC pro-abortion anti-celibacy condom-pushing priests the media likes, and Buddhist monks have been into the kinky stuff with little boys for centuries more than any of these guys.

You've got about a million targets. Why don't you branch out a little? Don't limit yourself so much! Try thinking outside the box... [Insert your own inspirational cliches here.]
wanker1981 - June 07, 2006 - Report this comment
this is a tired rhetoric of the same old crap and if the man wanted to be original he probably should have picked on someone like Martha Stuart, after all she actually ended up in gaol (yes, that is how it's spelt hear in English speaking countries like N.Z) for what she did. Plus this parody isn't even funny, take a look at the other one by the guys at Liquid Generation and try again dumbass!
DocPyro - July 14, 2006 - Report this comment
Okay, granted it's a cheap and easy shot, and granted there are certainly people out there who are much bigger dangers, but the fact that it's his own song kind of makes it that much more appropriate, y'know? I'm mystified by the second comment. Maybe you weren't absolutely inundated by Martha Stewart jokes out there in Kiwiland four years ago when the whole thing with her started, but trust me, in the US that's a very dead horse by now (okay, maybe it's not quite as run into the ground as "Michael Jackson is Just Plain Creepy Weird", but it's close and let's face it, he is Just Plain Creepy Weird). Also, as a replacement for "smooth criminal," "inside trader" doesn't scan nearly as well as "gay pedophile." That said, scansion is my biggest problem with this one. "Are you okay Annie" doesn't convert well into "Why did you touch me Michael" and since that's repeated over and over it's important to have that line fit perfectly.

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